Penguin March

Penguin March

70 Lifetime Miles

Free at Last, Free at Last

Post Op Day 35 (C6-C7 Anterior Cervical Discectomy and Fusion)

Post Op Day 28 (C6-C7 Anterior Cervical Discectomy and Fusion)

Post Op Day 25 (C6-C7 Anterior Cervical Discectomy and Fusion)

Today was my first adventure out of the house that was not medical related.  We went to Lunch and a Movie at Boulder Station Casino.  While waiting for the movie to start I put $5.00 in a slot machine and hit a jackpot!  Almost $250.00

 

 

Post Op Day 21 (C6-C7 Anterior Cervical Discectomy and Fusion)

Post Op Day 18 (C6-C7 Anterior Cervical Discectomy and Fusion)

2 Week Post Op Doctor Visit.  This is my hardware.  I have a titanium plate and four screw.  My wonderful surgeon says I am healing wonderfully and threatened my life if I bent his hard work. LOL

Post Op Day 14 (C6-C7 Anterior Cervical Discectomy and Fusion)

This is Not a Bill

So I got my "This is not a bill" statement from UMC today. My surgery cost $114,000.00

Post Op Day 7 (C6-C7 Anterior Cervical Discectomy and Fusion)

Post Op Day 6 (C6-C7 Anterior Cervical Discectomy and Fusion)

Post Op Day 4 (C6-C7 Anterior Cervical Discectomy and Fusion)

Yeahhhh I was able to take a shower today, I feel so much better!

Let's Get This Party Started

The Beginning of the End (Of Pain)

Surgery is scheduled for tomorrow at 7:00am at UMC Hospital. I have been all over the city today doing pre op stuff. I should have no problem sleeping tonight. I am scared and relieved at the same time.

It's a Date

After four months of constant pain I finally have a surgery date. Surgery is scheduled for Thursday, July 14 at 7:00am at UMC Hospital. I am scared and relieved at the same time.

Pain, Tingling, Numbness Oh My

The pain, tingling, numbness and heaviness of my left shoulder and arm have gotten greatly worse. Finding a position to lay down to sleep is impossible, and the pain medication makes me nauseated several hours and then just knocks me out from the strength and my tiredness, I hope there is a surgery date THIS week. I want to get on with my life PAIN FREE!

I have completed all testing for surgery clearance. Now it is just a waiting game.

My Nurse Jill

Life in the Fast Lane

Surgery is on a fast track since I am apparently getting worse daily. Spent today in horrible pain with numbness, nausea, and vomiting.   I have my FMLA in place and am now off of work until after my surgery recovery time.  Have a couple of appointments to complete and then hopefully we will have a surgery date.

Cloudy with a Good Chance of Pain

So there was a lot going on last night when I got home from work and my orthopedic appointment. I was tired (up since 4am), hot, and still processing 2 hours worth of information from two different orthopedic doctors.

I have a herniated disc pressing against my spinal cord and compressing the nerves going to my left shoulder and arm. I have to go see my PCP Friday for surgery clearance (blood work, EKG, and Chest X-Ray) and then the surgery will be scheduled immediately. The concern is the bone hitting the spinal cord. Lets just say coughing and sneezing is a new experience at this time.

The pain medication they gave me of course is making me nauseated, dizzy, and sleepy so needless to say I can't take it and work. After surgery healing time is predicted to be 8-12 weeks out of work and in a cervical collar. Bruce is in for a fun time playing nurse and caregiver.

So as I asked last night everyone please keep me in your prayers. I know this surgery is necessary but I am scared to death.

Take Me Out To The Ball Game

Take me out with the crowd

Buy me some peanuts and crackerjacks

I don't care if I never get back

Let me root, root, root

For the home team

If they don't win it's a shame

Aahh.

For it's one,

Two,

Three strikes you're out

At the old ball game

Las Vegas 51s Game

Day 21

Last Weigh In Weight: 287.0

Today's Weigh In Weight: 286.4

Weight Loss: ↓0.6

BMI: 46.4 - Obesity Class III 

Total Weight Loss: ↓7.8

Day 20

Last Weigh In Weight: 287.0

Today's Weigh In Weight: 287.0

Weight Loss: ↓0.0

BMI: 46.4 - Obesity Class III 

Total Weight Loss: ↓7.2

Day 19

Last Weigh In Weight: 287.2

Today's Weigh In Weight: 287.0

Weight Loss: ↓0.2

BMI: 46.4 - Obesity Class III 

Total Weight Loss: ↓7.2

Day 18

Last Weigh In Weight: 288.4

Today's Weigh In Weight: 287.2

Weight Loss: ↓1.2

BMI: 46.4 - Obesity Class III 

Total Weight Loss: ↓7.0

Day 17

Last Weigh In Weight: 288.0

Today's Weigh In Weight: 288.4

Weight Gain: ↑0.4

BMI: 46.5 - Obesity Class III 

Total Weight Loss: ↓5.8

Day 16 - Tales of the Scale Week Two

Last Weigh In Weight: 286.8

Today's Weigh In Weight : 288.0

Weight Gain: ↑1.2
Fourth Day of Cycle

BMI: 46.5 - Obesity Class III 

Total Weight Loss: ↓6.2

Weekly Steps:  17,015

Weekly Miles:  7.42

Day 15

Last Weigh In Weight: 288.0

Today's Weigh In Weight: 286.6

Weight Loss: ↓1.4
Third-Day of Cycle

BMI: 44.9 - Obesity Class III 

Total Weight Loss: ↓7.6

Day 14

Last Weigh In Weight: 284.6

Today's Weigh In Weight: 283.4

Weight Loss: ↓1.2

BMI: 45.7 - Obesity Class III 

Total Weight Loss: ↓ 31.6  (7.4)  

Day 13

Last Weigh In Weight: 289.6

Today's Weigh In Weight: 292.0

Weight Gain: ↑2.4
First Day of Cycle

BMI: 47.1 - Obesity Class III 

Total Weight Loss: ↓2.2

Day 12

Last Weigh In Weight: 288.6

Today's Weigh In Weight: 289.6

Weight Gain: ↑1.0

BMI: 46.6 - Obesity Class III 

Total Weight Loss: ↓4.6

Day 11

Last Weigh In Weight: 288.8

Today's Weigh In Weight: 288.6

Weight Loss: ↓0.2

BMI: 46.6 - Obesity Class III 

Total Weight Loss: ↓5.6

Day 10

Last Weigh In Weight: 287.2

Today's Weigh In Weight: 288.8

Weight Gain: ↑1.6

BMI: 46.6 - Obesity Class III 

Total Weight Loss: ↓5.4

Day 9 - Tales of the Scale Week One

Last Weigh In Weight: 287.2

Today's Weigh In Weight: 287.2

Weight Loss: ↓0.0

BMI: 46.4 - Obesity Class III 

Total Weight Loss: ↓7.0

Weekly Steps:  14,119
Weekly Miles:  6.17
Vitamin D Level 25.3 - Normal 30.0-100.0

Day 8

Last Weigh In Weight: 289.8

Today's Weigh In Weight: 287.2

Weight Loss: ↓2.6

BMI: 46.4 - Obesity Class III 

Total Weight Loss: ↓7.0

Day 7

Last Weigh In Weight: 289.4

Today's Weigh In Weight: 289.8

Weight Gain: ↑0.4

BMI: 46.8 - Obesity Class III 

Total Weight Loss: ↓4.4

Day 6

Last Weigh In Weight: 292.2

Today's Weigh In Weight: 289.4

Weight Loss: ↓2.8

BMI: 46.7 - Obesity Class III 

Total Weight Loss: ↓4.8

Real change will never come from choices that are familiar and comfortable.
You have to step outside your comfort zone to change.

Day 5

Last Weigh In Weight: 289.2

Today's Weigh In Weight: 292.2

Weight Gain: ↑ 3.0

BMI: 47.2 - Obesity Class III 

Total Weight Loss: ↓ 2.0

Day 4

Last Weigh In Weight: 293.6 

Today's Weigh In Weight: 289.2

Weight Loss: ↓ 0.6

BMI: 46.7 - Obesity Class III 

Total Weight Loss: ↓ 5.0

Day 3

Last Weigh In Weight: 294.2 

Today's Weigh In Weight: 293.6

Weight Loss: ↓ 0.6

BMI: 47.4 - Obesity Class III 

Total Weight Loss: ↓ 0.6

Day 2

Today's Weigh In Weight: 294.2

This Week's Weight Loss:

BMI: 47.5 - Obesity Class III

Total Weight Loss:

Exercise: 0.76 Miles

Water: 70 ounces

There are 1,440 minutes in a day. Use 20 of them to work out.

372 days, 1 hour, 41 minutes and 15 seconds.

372 days, 1 hour, 41 minutes and 15 seconds.

Grief has changed my perception of time. This New Year's Eve I found myself wondering where the last year has gone, and how I managed to survive the waves and sucker punches that grief delivered on a very regular basis throughout. And yet I have survived: one year, one month, one day, one minute at a time to find my way in this strange new world called widowhood. When you're a widow, the passing of time often feels like the only constant. When your world has fallen apart and you've been made acutely aware of just how little control you have over life; the counting of the days, months and years can give one a point of focus and something to hold on to. I guess it's the difference between surviving and living.

My life has been on pause, I've been waiting for the pain to get more bearable, for me to grow stronger, waiting to heal so that I can take myself off pause and take a step forward. I have been surviving. I am now at a point where the restlessness to 'live' is getting stronger than the sense of needing to just survive. But, how do I live again while such a big part of me is dead? When I look back over the last 12 months, I realize no matter how hard I fought to not live that my life continued, my career moved forward, I found love again, I became stronger, more resilient, more capable and wiser. When Stephan died I wanted to die with him, but now I know I want to LIVE.

My resolution for the next 12 months is to be happy and not sad, be strong and not weak, to laugh more and cry less, to continue this healing journey and to appreciate the life I am given and to allow myself to LIVE it to the fullest.