"Normal" Life

I will be on a plane to Tampa, Florida in 34 days.

I’m already dreading how fast I know the days will go by when I’m with him. I am not looking forward to having those thoughts of this is my last night with him, my last day with him, my last morning with him, my last meal with him. I almost want to just endure the long wait time until he is able to move here. That way neither of us will have to deal with that depressing, fighting back tears moment at the airport when I have to leave him to come back to my “normal” life.

I remember the last time we were standing in an airport. I didn’t want to let him go, I kissed him goodbye and looked into his sad eyes. I promised not to cry and I didn’t while I was standing there holding on for dear life feeling as if my very heart was being ripped out of me. But once we parted and I got a safe distance away I sat down and cried like a baby for at least 15 minutes. The following days are a blur, I spent a lot of time in my room alone and crying about everything and nothing at all.

I love and miss him so very much and just want him to be here in my arms forever.

“When it rains it reminds me of you.  Although 2,250 miles is so far away I still always walk outside in the rain and kiss it just for you. It never fails me, the rain will always come and I will always love you.  The next time you see a storm on the horizon, don’t worry it is just heaven doing me the favor of taking you my kiss.  Walk outside and kiss the rain whenever you need me.

Half Way

Today is a halfway point of sorts in my relationship with Steve, he has officially been gone for 39 days and it is exactly 39 days until I will see him again. I do hope that the next 39 days do not pass as slowly as the first 39 days did. I went out this evening to the pool and swam in the rain it was so exhilarating, relaxing and beautiful. I could feel the rain falling on me cold compared to the warm pool water, I could hear the thunder and see the lightning. The only thing that would have made this evening better would have been being able to share this experience with my love.

40 Days and 40 Nights

It has been a very hectic morning so far today. I woke up at 7:00am and got ready for work, Bruce was also running about trying to get ready for a job interview he has this morning. I went to the kitchen and prepared my lunch for the day and found an envelope on the kitchen table addressed to me. It is from Southwest Gas Corporation and it my first official bill in my name. Now I realize I have been paying these bills all along, but it feels different now that my name is actually on them.

I was able to speak with Steve briefly around 8:30am he sounded so sexy and in such great spirits. I have never met anyone like him, he has so many reasons to be down and depressed and discouraged yet he Is the most amazing, strong, supportive, man. I feel like the luckiest woman alive that he loves me. Just 40 more days my love and we will be in each other’s arms.