I love you more

I love you more and more with each breathe I take. You are my world, my life, and my future. God really blessed me when he gave me you. “Text message from Steve” 

Today was a very emotional day for me. I sat at work most of the morning at my desk crying for no real apparent reason. I felt lost, alone, isolated. Every time I would leave my desk people would ask me if I was alright. I got so tired of everyone’s concern, why can’t people just leave me alone?

Of course, I am not alright I want to scream at the top of my lungs. I have asked my husband for a divorce and he is still living in my home.  The man I love is 2,250 miles away and having surgery tomorrow and I should be by his side but instead, I am here, lost, alone, isolated from the one person I want more than anything.

To just be able to feel his touch, kiss his lips, smell his cologne. We have plans for September 19-25 but that seems so far away at this moment, 49 long days and longer nights to be exact. I know I will not sleep tonight worrying about Steve, and I will be a nervous wreck tomorrow until he calls me and tells me surgery is over and he is alright.

On a silent night when friends are few, I close my eyes and think of you, a silent night, a silent tear, a silent wish that you were here.