Tuesday, August 26, 2008

Sometimes love finds you

Sometimes love finds you when you least expect it when you stop looking when you stop trying and sometimes when you stop remembering what you thought love should be.

It is then a window opens and you are caught on the breeze that rushes in, swirling around you leaving you forever changed.

What you know from that day is that everything else was just pretend and all the things you felt before were nothing compared with this.

It is not perfect, nor does it expect perfection. It may not be what others would have it be but it will last through time and distance because of what it gives and does not take.

When this love comes it will slide into place like two hands that have always been together.

Thursday, August 14, 2008

I would like to buy a CLUE please. . .

Well here it is almost the end of another week, and here I sit with all this bottled up animosity toward my employer. I have spent the past two days updating my resume, searching the want ads, and speaking with a couple of attorneys. I also spent a lot of time wondering how many times do you continue going back to a company where you never seem to be happy and trying to do your very best before you realize that no matter how hard you work or how dedicated you are the scenario never changes.

There is a co-worker at my job that I feel is a complete waste of space, she never pulls her weight, yet there she is everyday flying under the radar getting her head patted while I am busting my ass and getting lectured to "work harder" and "do more". I will not pretent to understand why this person is still employeed with our company, but if this is the person and image that the company wants representing them as they move forward then more power (and my sympathy) to them. The worst thing about all of this is I am not the only person who sees this happening but anytime I attempt to bring it up my concerns are dismissed and I am told to spend more time "worrying about me and my duties".

I am really not dealing well with my pent up anger toward this person any longer. I have tried to make nice and be friendly and just not let her get to me, but when she goes out of her way to attempt to get me in trouble that is the final straw. I hope for both our sakes that she just stays away from me while I begin the journey of trying to find another job where I may possibly be appreciated for all the hard work and dedication that I can bring to any company.

On the home front mother is doing a lot better. She had a scare a few weeks ago, we thought she was having a stroke, turned out she was going through drug withdrawal. It appears you can't stop taking the quanity of pain medication she was taking cold turkey, you have to slowly wean yourself off of them. She is now off all her pain medication and is doing very well with the pain she is experiencing. I still wonder about her mental capacity at this point, hopefully it will improve as the drugs continue working their way out of her system. I doubt she ever works again, but she definitely needs to take up a hobby or something and stop laying around in the bed all day.

Other wonderful news, my husband will be moving in with me the end of September. He is getting things tied up in Pennsylvania and we are both looking forward to starting our life "together" as a old married couple. I can hardly wait!

Changes are afoot in my future, hopefully I will be happy with the new turn in my life. One small step in a direction that will lead me somewhere, not sure where yet, but somewhere good I hope.