Sunday, November 25, 2007

For My Love

I haven't known you very long
But that's not the way I feel.
I've told you all about me
I have nothing to conceal.

You are my new beginning
You're the door to life beyond
You're all that I could ever want
Or ever need to carry on

You're the future I have dreamed of
You're a new and brighter day
With you there is no looking back
The past can fade away.

Though I haven't known you very long
You'll find all I've said is true.
I never thought that when we met.
I would fall in love with you.

Bruce, I love you! You are the person that I want to spend the rest of my life with. You complete me.

Saturday, November 24, 2007

Taking Chances

I know I need a change. I know I have options. But I'm afraid. Afraid to leave what I know. Worried that different won't be better. Up until November 8 that was my way of thinking. I was not happy with the way things were going at my job, it seemed I had run out of room for advancement, there were promises made that were not happening, and the ones who were not giving 100% were being rewarded.

I took a vacation (November 1-7) and did some really deep soul searching and decided it was time to be brave and move forward. I called into work the morning I was suppose to return and let them know that I would not be returning, it was time to move on.

I now believe things happen for a reason. I have several job interviews set up and high expectations, and I am also planning a wedding to the most wonderful man I have ever met in my entire life, he completes me in a way no other person has ever come close. So what do you say to taking chances?

Thursday, November 22, 2007

Happy Thanksgiving

I hope you all have a very happy Thanksgiving and enjoy the time you spend with those near and dear to you. I feel truly blessed this Thanksgiving, especially reminiscing on where I was (emotionally) at this time last year. I am very thankful for my wonderful family, my daughters smile, old friends I have reconnected with, the new friends that have come into my life, and for the love of a very very special man who came along and filled my life with joy, companionship, acceptance, smile, tears, laughter and most of all LOVE.

Monday, November 19, 2007

A picture is worth a thousand words

This picture pretty much describes my emotions the past few days. I am really just having a very hard time dealing with life. I need to get away a few days to the beach, to smell the ocean air, to feel the sand between my toes, to bring some sanity back into my life.

Thursday, November 15, 2007

Lonely Miles

Absence makes the heart grow fonder or so they say. But lets face reality long distance relationships are very difficult. He came to visit for 10 wonderful life altering days, and the day to leave arrived way to quickly. I have never in my life, felt as alone as I did when he walked through that gate to board that airplane. A piece of me was taken away, a piece of me is missing. He is truly everything I ever wanted in a lover and a friend but our relationship is complicated at best. He has a daughter and obligations that he can't just walk away from and I respect him for that. I also have obligations that I can not walk away from. So for now, my life is in Nevada and his life is in Pennsylvania and between us is many many lonely empty miles.

Tuesday, November 13, 2007

Today

Today I saw things I didn't want to see.
Today I wondered what tomorrow would be.
Today I was worried and frightened and sad.
Today I appreciated everything I've had.

Tomorrow is uncertain, what will life be?
Tomorrow may have changes in store for me.
I am hoping I can handle the uncertainty with grace.
And be strong enough to cope with anything I need to face.

Do you ever have those days where you just don't feel strong?
Do you panic when you realize that your courage is gone?
Today I saw things I didn't want to see.
Today I saw things that frightened me.

Monday, November 12, 2007

10 Days

10 days does not seem like a very long time when you look at the big picture of life, but 10 days can be a life altering experience. In 10 days I met the love of my life, got engaged, and let my love go. He has completed what wasn't whole and has made me more happy than I have ever been in my life. Right now though I am hurting inside, my emotions are high and empty all at the same time. I want to cry but there are no more tears to release. Nobody said this was going to be easy, but nobody said this was going to be this hard either. He will be back soon but right now every tick of the clock seems like an eternity.

In the meantime, I will keep myself busy by looking for a new job since I came to the realization that life is too short to be consumed with drama and negativity and quit my old job. Here is to new beginnings.