Progress

2012 is ending, and 2013 is beginning.

If you had to choose one word to describe the past 365 days, what would it be?

My word would be progress.

In the very obvious sense of the word, I have made some positive changes over the past year.   I began exercising again and discovered I did have time and I could do it. I stopped drinking soda for 184 days.   I ended a relationship that I had held onto for way to long because I didn't want to hurt him, all the while not considering the hurt it was causing me.  I will also end the year 13.6 pounds lighter than when I started, since gaining 13.6 pounds back the last three months.

While these are all things to celebrate, I recognize that I still have work to do. Those small steps may have gotten me closer to my best life, but I definitely still have some distance to cover.

That is where the second meaning comes in. I am a work in progress.  The old me may have viewed this year as a disappointment -13.6 pounds in a year, really? As a perfectionist, I have always believed that the definition of failure is missing a goal.  Well I have missed many goals this year, but this year is different, I am much more forgiving of myself and have learned to celebrate any accomplishment, no matter how small.

I’m not a huge believer in resolutions, because I have made several over the course of the years and have not really kept any.  I feel sometimes that making resolutions just sets a person up to fail.  I am trying to take things slowly with a goal of losing 6 pounds a month. This goal is completely attainable; in the past, I have lost 20 pounds in just under two months time. I am being realistic about the rate at which I can lose weight now – I do not have the free time nor energy to lose at the rate I used to. So 30 pounds in 5 months is my first goal, my second goal is to reach ONEderland (199) and the 100 pounds lost mark (198) and my ultimate goal is to reach the weight that is pretty healthy for me: 160 pounds.

The first month of 2013 will bring exciting things. I'm settling into a blossoming relationship with a wonderful man who has changed my life, he is relocating from Florida and moving in with me on January 12. We both look forward to starting our new life together and learning all the new things you learn when living with someone as opposed to dating from a far. My granddaughter will turn 2 on January 27 and her sister is due any moment now so she will also be a January blessing more then likely.

I hope everyone has a safe and happy New Year celebration. I will be spending it with a quiet evening at home alone. Wishing You All a New Year Filled With Peace, Joy, Health and Prosperity.

My Little Corner of the North Pole

Many are left crying

Steve's mother Lillie went to be with the Lord, Sunday, December 16, 2012 at 5:09 am. Many are left crying here but God has called one of his greatest angels home. Thank you all for your love and support for Steve and I and please continue to pray for Steve and his family during this difficult time.

Love of my Heart

The sun is coming up this morning. As I watch its light spread over the quiet of the morning, I wonder where you were when the sun came up for you. Did it shine through your window on your dark hair as you lay sleeping? Did it warm you with it’s touch and cover you with the soft pink rays of the first light? If only I could be the sun, for just one morning. I would find you and cover you with the warmth of my love and the softness of my touch. As the sun rose in the sky, I would become the morning mist and blanket you with tenderness. The morning mist would disappear so I would then become the flowers in the field, filling your world with the magical scents of a warm summer day. As the day waned and the flowers in the field faded in twilight, I would be the first stars in the sky, hearing your dreams and wishes. Finally I would become the moon, shining down all that I could give to you in the quiet of the night. So my love goes full circle, constant, ever present, from the first of the morning dawn to the quiet star filled night, wrapping you in the love of my heart.

It ended way to soon

I have returned from my 4 day visit with Steve and I love him more then ever.  I will be so happy when we are able to be together forever.  My flight was delayed and I thought it would take forever to board but finally I was in the air.

I walked off the plane in Tampa, Florida at least two hours late and he was right there waiting at the end of the walkway for me, with a big ole smile and kiss.  I have never been so happy to see someone EVER!  We left the airport and went to Denny's and had a early breakfast and headed back to his place for some much needed alone time and sleep before we headed out across Florida to Daytona Beach.  Upon waking we loaded up the car and headed for our first stop.  It is a small town named Micanopy, Florida.  It is the town where the movie Doc Hollywood was filmed.  We wandered around the town and in and out of many small stores bought several items to have shipped to my home.  Had some lunch and headed out on our way.

We checked into room 333 at The Conch House in Daytona Beach, we changed into our swimsuits and hit the salt water pool and took a small stroll on the beach.  Then it was back to our room to shower, and dress for dinner at Maria Bonita's Mexican Restaurant.  The food was awesome, the company was amazing and the Margarita's were flowing.  Once we returned to our room we walked down the beach in the moonlight to the boardwalk, where I had my first funnel cake.  It was very good and definitely not on my diet.  We then strolled to the end of the pier and just sat watching the waves come in, smelling the sea air, and talking about our future. As we started walking back toward the hotel our song "Cowboy and Angels" came on over the boardwalk speakers and we danced right there on the shore with the water lapping at our feet.

The next day was just spent being together hanging out at the pool and walking on the beach enjoying each others company.  The following day we headed to St. Augustine, Florida to visit the light house and light house museum.  I actually climbed all the way to the top of this beautiful piece of history and the view from the top was amazing.  From there we headed back to his home in Ocala.

The next morning we were up early to get me to the airport for my return trip to Las Vegas.  This goodbye was harder than the last but, Steve will be here in December to accompany me to my work Christmas Party.  I am counting the days!

Beach Therapy - Daytona Beach, Florida

I'm Leaving On A Jetplane

I just wanted to stop by and wish everyone a happy weekend!! I will be in Daytona Beach, Florida with my honey so I am going to be having a WONDERFUL time!! I hope that I haven't gained 10 pounds by the time I return on Tuesday, but if I do I don't think I will care!!

In July of this year he added me to his cellphone plan and got me a phone and got us unlimited calls and text messaging which believe me we USE!! The 2250 miles between us is a temporary obstacle and at this time we really aren't sure how we are proceeding with us both with ailing mothers. But love always finds a way.

"Normal" Life

I will be on a plane to Tampa, Florida in 34 days.

I’m already dreading how fast I know the days will go by when I’m with him. I am not looking forward to having those thoughts of this is my last night with him, my last day with him, my last morning with him, my last meal with him. I almost want to just endure the long wait time until he is able to move here. That way neither of us will have to deal with that depressing, fighting back tears moment at the airport when I have to leave him to come back to my “normal” life.

I remember the last time we were standing in an airport. I didn’t want to let him go, I kissed him goodbye and looked into his sad eyes. I promised not to cry and I didn’t while I was standing there holding on for dear life feeling as if my very heart was being ripped out of me. But once we parted and I got a safe distance away I sat down and cried like a baby for at least 15 minutes. The following days are a blur, I spent a lot of time in my room alone and crying about everything and nothing at all.

I love and miss him so very much and just want him to be here in my arms forever.

“When it rains it reminds me of you.  Although 2,250 miles is so far away I still always walk outside in the rain and kiss it just for you. It never fails me, the rain will always come and I will always love you.  The next time you see a storm on the horizon, don’t worry it is just heaven doing me the favor of taking you my kiss.  Walk outside and kiss the rain whenever you need me.

Half Way

Today is a halfway point of sorts in my relationship with Steve, he has officially been gone for 39 days and it is exactly 39 days until I will see him again. I do hope that the next 39 days do not pass as slowly as the first 39 days did. I went out this evening to the pool and swam in the rain it was so exhilarating, relaxing and beautiful. I could feel the rain falling on me cold compared to the warm pool water, I could hear the thunder and see the lightning. The only thing that would have made this evening better would have been being able to share this experience with my love.

40 Days and 40 Nights

It has been a very hectic morning so far today. I woke up at 7:00am and got ready for work, Bruce was also running about trying to get ready for a job interview he has this morning. I went to the kitchen and prepared my lunch for the day and found an envelope on the kitchen table addressed to me. It is from Southwest Gas Corporation and it my first official bill in my name. Now I realize I have been paying these bills all along, but it feels different now that my name is actually on them.

I was able to speak with Steve briefly around 8:30am he sounded so sexy and in such great spirits. I have never met anyone like him, he has so many reasons to be down and depressed and discouraged yet he Is the most amazing, strong, supportive, man. I feel like the luckiest woman alive that he loves me. Just 40 more days my love and we will be in each other’s arms.

Lonely Bed

Steve is home resting, I am bathed and ready for bed, and it is raining outside. Could this be a more perfect evening? Only if my darling were here in the flesh lying in this big lonely bed beside me would it be complete.

You are the reason I wake up in the morning, you are the reason I find a way to smile, you are the one person that can change everything around when it is going bad. Your eyes, your smile, your laugh, and the look in your eyes when you talk to me make me want you more.

Home

I just got off the phone with Steve he is home now and heading straight to bed. As we all know you never get any rest while in the hospital. He sounded so tired and weak these are words that I have never associated with him. He is always the strong one who is always in the best of spirits and never complains about anything. He is the one who is always supporting and taking care of me. He was sent home with more medication, a blood glucose monitoring device and test strips. I will find out more tonight about the prognosis and how long he has to use these. For now I am just happy that he is home and resting comfortably in his own bed.

Life is not always fair

I have been on an emotional roller coaster since yesterday morning. First the doctors said Steve would be in the hospital a couple of days, which then changed to 5-6 days as the day progressed, early this morning they told him he was being discharged today, which then changed to we need to keep you another day. Of course Steve being a man has refused to stay another day and is going home today once they have all his discharge paperwork in order. I am frustrated beyond belief that he is going through all of this alone and there is not a thing I can do for him from here except comfort him over the phone. I should be there taking care of him, talking to doctors and nurses, holding his hand through all the needles and medication. Life is really not fair at times.

Good Night My Love

Steve just called and he sounded so weak and tired. It looks now like he will be spending six or seven days in the hospital instead of the original “few days” he was told this morning. They have filled his eye with a steroid antibiotic and sealed it shut and covered it with an eye patch. They want him to completely rest it and keep the light out of it. He has been started on an IV drip with steroids and other various medications and has been given his first insulin shot in the stomach. The first shot dropped his glucose level into the 300s. He is due another injection at midnight and a blood check at 2:00am. His brother came and visited him earlier and brought him a suit case from home and his phone charger so now we are able to talk and text as much as we want and need too. For now he is comfortable and in very good hands and I am going to try to close my eyes and get some rest. Good Night My Love. I love and miss you more and more with each passing day.

Admitted

Steve has been admitted to his room in Shands Hospital where they have started him on IV antibiotics and an insulin shot in the stomach every 6 hours to get his blood sugar level under control. I spoke with him on the phone and he seems to be in great spirits and he even told me his nurse was a cutie. Yep it is official he is just fine!  His cell phone battery is running very low and he will not have a phone charger until tomorrow so I have to fight the urge to text message him every 3 seconds to see how he is doing. It has really been an emotional day for me and I am quite surprised that I have managed to hold it together so well. I think I may have only cried twice.

From Bad to Worse

I woke up about 10 minutes before my 6:30am alarm this morning and actually got out of bed and got into the shower. This for me is a major accomplishment because I have been turning off my alarm, rolling over and going back to sleep, only to awake again at 7:30am which really sucks when you have to be at work at 8:00am. I was showered, dressed and sitting at my desk typing a Facebook entry and my phone rang at 7:05am and it was Steve.  I always love hearing his voice but especially first thing in the morning. It makes me smile and helps get my day off to a wonderful start. He was at his eye doctor appointment and was calling to make sure I was awake (how sweet) and to let me know that he was being sent for blood work to check his blood glucose level because the test they performed in the office was very high in the 400s.

I received a text message at 8:14am “News went from bad to worse. The doctors have decided I need to be admitted for a couple of days, looks like no skype for a few days” I laughed at first because he was worried about not being able to skype, and then I immediately fell apart and started crying, which is not very productive for work. I NEED to and SHOULD be in Florida taking care of him and not 2,250 miles away feeling helpless, scared and alone. Life is really not fair!!

He called me at 8:20am to tell me that the blood work showed his blood glucose level much higher and they are concerned about diabetes and that his eye is not healing properly from surgery. They are hospitalizing him for a few days to put him on some IV antibiotics and medication for his eye and to get his blood sugar level under control. He called it preventive care. He is so brave and strong and still trying to take care of me and my fears and feelings when I should be the one supporting him. Just one more reason I love him so very much. They already have a room for him and he was heading over to the hospital to be admitted. He promised he would call me the moment he was settled into his room.

What's a Month

I miss him so much. A month ago (35 days to be exact) we were together. It's already been a month. It's only been a month. Some days I can't decide which sentence is more appropriate. I feel like he was just here. I can still feel his hands on my body, his lips brushing against mine, the scent of his cologne and see the love in his eyes. Then again I feel like it's been so long since I kissed him and held him and even longer until I can do it again (43 days to be exact).

Time is a strange thing. It moves in slow segments, seemingly dragging on. But overall, time moves far too quickly. We wish for time to move faster, but this is it. Our time here has an expiration date. Do we really want time to move quickly? But when something is just out of your reach and you're counting down the seconds until it's yours, you can't help but wish for time to speed up.

Some days you feel the sting of absence that comes with a long distance relationship more than usual. Some days you have to fight back tears when you say goodbye. Some days you feel so hopeless you can't see the light at the end of the tunnel anymore. Some days are harder than others, but for every someday there's most days.

Most days you feel so happy you wonder what's keeping you from floating right up into the clouds. Most days you wonder how you could ever be so lucky as to find someone so wonderful. Most days you feel amazing thinking about the next time you'll be with them. Most days are happier than some days, and as difficult as it can be, I'll push through the some days to keep the happiness that comes with most days.

I will succeed

I slept late today, if you can call 8:00am late. I woke up and immediately called and checked on Steve he sounded really tired, he was up every hour all night putting eye drops in his eye and had a terrible night with nausea.

We talked, laughed and planned our future. He gave me his credit card information and I purchased my plane ticket for September 19-25. I am so excited that our relationship is moving forward and we get closer and closer each day. I went and did my grocery shopping, cooked dinner, and went and took a swim and sat in the hot tub a while this evening. All and all it was a productive day.

I only cried three times today, and I seem to be keeping my food on my stomach instead of it running right through me which is a major improvement. I bought lots of salad fixings and yogurt today with hopes of getting back on my diet starting Monday. I ate so much crap this past week I am surprised I didn’t gain 10 pounds. I had Burger King at least twice, McDonalds, Panda Express, Roberto’s, Willy and Jose’s and a few others I am sure I have forgotten.

I will succeed at getting my life moving forward and breaking free from the past present and move into the present future.

Seeing Clearly

Today is my daughter's 25th birthday, where does the time go? It only seems like yesterday when she was tiny and small and needed me for everything. Now she has a little one of her own and is expecting another. I am feeling very old.

Steve went back to the eye doctor today to have the stitches removed and was placed on a very high dose of oral steroids and given steroid eye drops that he has to place in his eye every hour all weekend long. They are afraid his eye is not producing the pressure it needs to heal correctly and the steroids will help with that and also keep him from getting an infection during the healing process. 

He is feeling very ill tonight and I am feeling very helpless being here and unable to comfort or take care of him. At one point this evening I became very ill and nauseated and had to throw up and lay down momentarily. I think my body is feeling his pain and discomfort even from here.

Got the final bill (Cable) in my name today, things are moving forward.

Past Present and Present Future

Today was Steve’s eye surgery and everything went wonderful, actually it went way better than expected. He was actually able to start seeing out of his eye while they were performing the procedure. This is wonderful NEWS! At this point we do not know how clear his vision will be when his eye is completed healed but we are very hopeful.

Today was also Bruce’s 59th Birthday. I got him a card, a chain to wear our wedding rings around his neck and took him out to dinner at Willy and Jose’s. I am not sure that wearing our wedding rings around his neck is very healthy, but if it brings him comfort then I can’t ask him not to do it.

Willy and Jose’s sucked really bad, that is twice in a row, I probably will not be going back there to give them a chance at that third strike. I feel like I am stuck between my past present and my present future and I am being ripped in two. I do not hate Bruce he is actually a really good friend and I hate to see him hurting. I love Steve with every fiber of my being and want to be in his arms every second of every day.

All of this stress is tearing me up inside.

I love you more

I love you more and more with each breathe I take. You are my world, my life, and my future. God really blessed me when he gave me you. “Text message from Steve” 

Today was a very emotional day for me. I sat at work most of the morning at my desk crying for no real apparent reason. I felt lost, alone, isolated. Every time I would leave my desk people would ask me if I was alright. I got so tired of everyone’s concern, why can’t people just leave me alone?

Of course, I am not alright I want to scream at the top of my lungs. I have asked my husband for a divorce and he is still living in my home.  The man I love is 2,250 miles away and having surgery tomorrow and I should be by his side but instead, I am here, lost, alone, isolated from the one person I want more than anything.

To just be able to feel his touch, kiss his lips, smell his cologne. We have plans for September 19-25 but that seems so far away at this moment, 49 long days and longer nights to be exact. I know I will not sleep tonight worrying about Steve, and I will be a nervous wreck tomorrow until he calls me and tells me surgery is over and he is alright.

On a silent night when friends are few, I close my eyes and think of you, a silent night, a silent tear, a silent wish that you were here.

Forever

I got my new cell phone today. We have a bill together. We are one step closer to forever.

Let Go

To let go isn’t to forget, not to think about, or ignore. It doesn’t leave feelings of anger, jealousy, or regret. Letting go isn’t about winning or losing. It’s not about pride and it’s not about how you appear, and it’s not obsessing or dwelling on the past.

Letting go isn’t blocking memories or thinking sad thoughts, and doesn’t leave emptiness, hurt, or sadness. It’s not about giving in or giving up. Letting go isn’t about loss and it’s not about defeat. To let go is to cherish the memories, but to overcome and move on. It is having an open mind confidence in the future. Letting go is learning and experiencing and growing.

To let go is to be thankful for the experiences that made you laugh, made you cry, and made you grow. It’s about all that you have, all that you had, and all that you will soon gain. Letting go is having the courage to accept change, and the strength to keep moving. Letting go is growing up.

All dressed up

I am up and dressed and going for a morning walk. I have to get my exercise regimen back on track. I have gotten lazy and gained 6 pounds. :(

Taking Chances

I met Steve online almost two and a half years ago on Facebook playing a popular online game. It started out quite innocently and we were just friends (though he tells me now he has loved me since the moment he met me). I would get a "poke" from him now and then and we would comment on each others posts.

He was a nice southern gentleman, also caring for his ailing mother. In January of this year our relationship took a turn, I was frustrated with my marriage, my job, my mother, my life and we started chatting online and exchanged phone numbers and began texting.

Sometime in April I finally agreed to let him call me and I have been in love with him ever since.  Today he is arriving via a jet plane to spend 4 days with me to see if we have this connection in real life.  I am terrified that he will see me and turn around and hop on the next plane out of here.

Calgon Take Me Away

Good Evening I hope everyone is having a fun and safe holiday weekend.  I took four days off for the Memorial Day weekend, but instead of using them for the normal rest and relaxation, I used them to get my butt back on track. I cleaned my bedroom,  bathroom and cleaned out my closet and all my drawers. I also started walking again,  I have walked 7.05 miles in the last 3 days!

• Activity: Walking 2.11 mi 5/25/2012 2:03 pm
• Activity: Walking 1.86 mi 5/26/2012 6:25 pm
• Activity: Walking 3.08 mi 5/27/2012 10:37 am

I feel very great about this achievement.  The first day was okay, the second day was harder with a new route and rubbing a blister on the bottom of my foot.  Today I went for the gusto and walked 3.08 miles.  My legs and lower back are killing me, but it is a good kind of pain.

My plan for keeping on track now is to get up every morning before work and walk 2 miles.  It sounds great on paper, we will see how it pans out in theory starting tomorrow.   As for now I am tired, hurting, and all squeaky clean!  It has been a great day!!

Tales of the Scale

Last Weigh In Weight: 248.6

Today's Weigh In Weight: 245.4

This Week's Weight Loss: ↓ 3.2

BMI: 39.6 - Extremely Obese

Total Weight Loss: 53.2

Wonderful Morning

I have met many goals already this morning. I weighed in at 246.2 which is a weight loss of 52.4 pounds.

Goal 1 met: Loss 50 pounds.
Goal 2 met: Under 250 pounds.
Goal 3 met: I can officially wear size 2x, down from the 4x I was wearing in November.
Goal 4 met: I am in a pair of size 2x white nursing scrubs. I can not tell you the last time I wore 2x or white pants as a matter of fact!!

Tales of the Scale

Last Weigh In Weight: 250.0

Today's Weigh In Weight: 248.6

This Week's Weight Loss: ↓ 1.4

BMI: 40.1 - Extremely Obese

Total Weight Loss: 50.0

I’m not getting fit so some guy will love me. I’m not getting fit so people can stare at me in a bikini. I’m not getting fit for the compliments. I’m getting fit so I can be healthy. So I can feel good about myself. So I can be proud and say “my hard work and perseverance really paid off.” So I can live a long & healthy life.

I am getting fit FOR ME.

Race for the Cure

I completed my first 5K race today. Of course, for me it wasn't a race, it was just a beautiful walk with lots of wonderful friends.

3.56 miles in 1 hour and 20 minutes

Progress

This is what 5 months of hard work and 53 pounds lost looks like. I do believe I only have one chin now :)

Been an interesting month

Started out my month with spring time allergies.  They are a lot better now.  I don't know what those little bushes with the white flowers are but they all need to be dug up and moved to somewhere like say ohhhhh Alaska!!!  After that I got an ear and throat infection which took two rounds of antibiotics to cure.  I already have Meniere’s disease which is an inner ear disorder, so for me to also have an ear infection it makes life very interesting!  About the time this all started healing I got up at work and started walking down the hall, got dizzy, lost my balance, and sprained my ankle.  I am happy to say I got medical clearance from the doctor Friday.  So hopefully things will begin to get back to normal around here!

With all this going on I managed to gain 7.6 pounds which I am happy to announce I have managed to lose 3.6 of since April 9th.  Hopefully now that I can get back to walking my 45-60 minutes a day the rest will melt away fairly fast and I can get back to my goal which is to be in the size 20 jeans hanging inside my closet door by my birthday on May 9th.    I also have my first 5K coming up on May 5th which I am anxious, nervous and excited about all at the same time!!

Here's to writing new chapters in our lives!

Tales of the Scale

Last Weigh In Weight: 253.6

Today's Weigh In Weight : 250.0

This Week's Weight Loss : ↓ 3.6

BMI: 40.4 - Extremely Obese

Total Weight Loss: 48.6

This is what a lack of motivation looks like

 Last Weigh In Weight: 246.0

Today's Weigh In Weight: 253.6

This Week's Weight Gain: ↑ 7.6

BMI: 40.9 - Extremely Obese

Total Weight Loss: 45.0

The last two weeks have been kinda weird for me.  It all started with an ear infection and a sore throat and all went downhill from there.  I stopped watching what I was eating, I stopped exercising, I stopped tracking my water intake, I stopped weighing daily and I stopped CARING.   I can count 3 trips to Panda Express, 2 trips to Taco Bell, and 1 trip to Carl's Jr for sure and I am sure there are some others I don't recall.  The only thing I can say that I didn't do is I DID NOT DRINK ANY SODA of any kind,  for that I can be grateful. (100 days without soda)

It took me 3 weeks to lose that 7 pounds and 2 weeks to gain it back.  Today I recommitted myself to getting healthy and fit.   I ate well, I drank my water, and I got out this evening and walked a mile.  That mile almost killed me, but I guess that is what I should expect since I have not exercised in almost a month.

The mountain feels high right now but I am up to the challenge to climb it!

Tales of the Scale

 Last Weigh In Weight: 249.4

Today's Weigh In Weight: 246.0

This Week's Weight Loss: ↓ 3.4

BMI: 39.7 - Extremely Obese

Total Weight Loss: 52.6

I believe I can celebrate now! :)

Tales of the Scale - Finally!!

Last Weigh In Weight: 253.0

Today's Weigh In Weight: 249.4

This Week's Weight Loss: ↓ 3.6

BMI: 40.3 - Extremely Obese

Total Weight Loss: 49.2

For me 250 has always been a wall, I creep up on it and sabotage myself every time.  I have been working especially hard to prove that it is a mental block and I could conquer it, and today finally I have.  I am not celebrating much yet since it is only .06 under 250 but I am proud that I made it.

Tales of the Scale

Last Weigh In Weight: 254.2

Today's Weigh In Weight : 253.0

This Week's Weight Loss : ↓ 1.2

BMI: 40.8 - Extremely Obese

Total Weight Loss: 45.6

Failure

Holy crap it is March already?

As you already know this last week was not good for me at all.  Friday morning I weighed in at 254.2 so I gained 3.4 pounds since my last weigh in.  This was a really really hard week for me.  Probably the hardest since I started my weight loss journey.  I ate way off plan Panda Express, Burger King, Kentucky Fried Chicken, and Taco Bell all found their way into my mouth this past week.  I am actually getting ill just typing this.  My exercise was terrible I walked three times in seven days, and my will power was MIA.

So my goal for this weekend is to get motivated and get back on track.  I started off today by walking 2.39 miles and drinking lots and lots of water.  I have to lose 3.4 pounds that I have already lost and then get busy accomplishing some mini goals that are just within my reach.

Right now I feel like a complete failure. If anyone has seen my willpower, let me know I would sure like to find it again.

Tales of the Scale

Last Weigh In Weight: 250.8

Today's Weigh In Weight : 254.2

This Week's Weight Gain : ↑ 3.4

BMI: 41.0 - Extremely Obese

Total Weight Loss: 44.4

Tales of the Scale

Last Weigh In Weight: 251.6

Today's Weigh In Weight: 250.8

This Week's Weight Loss: ↓ 0.8

BMI: 40.5 - Extremely Obese

Total Weight Loss: 47.8

Mid Week Update

Hello all! I have been a bad blogger this past week; so imagine my surprise when I came here and saw all your happy smiling faces. Welcome to my page hope to get to know each and everyone of you better.

Monday Bruce (my hubby) and I upped our walking route to 2 miles.  I really expected it to be horrible!  I decided to map out a route around our neighborhood because I knew if we stayed in the complex and just walked around the parking lot that I would find an excuse to stop when I got "tired".  My thinking was if we leave the complex and walk a mile away I have to walk back hence no excuse to stop.

We barely got started and my shoes started bothering me, I really think my feet are shrinking.  I have worn a size 9 for as long as I can remember but now they are rubbing on my heels when I am walking.  I stopped and retied them both very tight and we continued on our journey.   I really enjoyed the conversation and the scenery and we managed 2.11 miles in 45 minutes.  I believe I also conquered that mental block that had convinced me there was no way my 251 pound ass could walk 2 miles.

Tuesday evening we only managed to walk 1.40 miles because hubby was not  feeling that great and I was very tired from the first day back to work after a holiday.

Today started off bad when I got on the scale and had gained a pound and ended even worse when I was out for my evening walk and one of the neighbors dogs bit me.  I still managed to complete a 2.17 mile walk even though my hand was killing me; good thing is it didn't break the skin thank goodness.

My goal for the rest of the week is to stay in my calorie count each day, consume MORE water, walk at least 2 miles each evening and BREATHE!

Tales of the Scale

Last Weigh In Weight: 253.8

Today's Weigh In Weight: 251.6

This Week's Weight Loss: ↓ 2.2

BMI: 40.6 - Extremely Obese

Total Weight Loss: 47.0

I didn't

I just realized I never posted my short term goals for the month of February. They mostly are the same as they were for January except for a few minor changes. That is how habits are formed right?

My short term goals to complete by February 29, 2012

1. Walk 45 minutes a day 5 times a week.
2. Drink 64-70 ounces of water a day.
3. Maintain NO SODA
4. No eating after 8:00pm.
5. Lose 10 pounds. (258.0 starting weight)

My long term goals to complete by May 9, 2012

1. Be able to wear the nursing scrubs they sell at Walmart. (Silly but personal)
2. Lose 40 pounds. (268.0 starting weight).
3. Walk 5K "Race for the Cure" on May 5, 2012.

This weekend was terribly hard for me.  I just did not feel well, I am bloated, I am crampy, and I wanted to eat everything in sight... but I didn't.  I also didn't get any exercise, I just laid around in bed and wallowed in my pain and misery.  This is a normal couple of days for me every month.  TOM has never and is still never kind to me.  This part of womanhood I will not miss!

I did manage to get out of bed tonight and make my wonderful hubby a pan of lasagna for our valentines day celebration.  I had a very large salad and a small portion of lasagna with a glass of 2 % milk.  It tasted so wonderful I could have probably ate the rest of the pan.... but I didn't.

So tonight I am celebrating the things I DIDN'T do this weekend.

Tales of the Scale

Last Weigh In Weight: 256.8

Today's Weigh In Weight: 253.8 

This Week's Weight Loss: ↓ 3.0

BMI: 41.0 - Extremely Obese Total 

Weight Loss: 44.8

Goals Accomplished

Back on 12/20/2011, I set some goals for myself.   I am happy to say that I am on track and have accomplished them ALL so far!!

My short term goals to complete by January 31, 2012

1. Walk 30 minutes a day 5 times a week. ~~Accomplished
2. Drink 64-70 ounces of water a day. ~~Accomplished
3. Cut out all soda (currently drinking 1-2 cans of Pepsi/Mt Dew a day). ~~Accomplished
4. No eating after 8:00pm. ~~Accomplished
5. Lose 10 pounds. (268.0 starting weight) ~~Accomplished

My long term goals to complete by May 9, 2012

1. Be able to wear the nursing scrubs they sell at Walmart. (Silly but personal)
2. Lose 40 pounds. (268.0 starting weight).
3. Walk 5K "Race for the Cure" on May 5, 2012.

Tales of the Scale

Last Weigh In Weight: 259.8 

Today's Weigh In Weight : 256.8 

This Week's Weight Loss : ↓ 3.0

BMI: 41.4 - Extremely Obese 

Total Weight Loss: 41.8

I was not feeling life today

I got up and went to work, pushed my way through the icky feeling, the catch in my throat, the lack of energy and the lack of my ability to deal with stupid people and made it home tonight. I came home and was going straight to bed, but my DH convinced me that I really should walk or I would feel worse later. Of course he was right and I managed to drag my ass around the parking lot 4 times for my 1.11 mile walk.

I came in showered, ate dinner, and got in the bed to watch some television and there sitting at the foot of my bed was my new exercise bike just calling my name. So I watched Days of Our Lives and peddled my little heart out and clocked 4 miles. I was panting, my heart was beating out of my chest and I was covered in sweat! Back to the shower for me!

Now I am sitting here heavily medicated getting ready to go to sleep. Two more days. Two more days. Two more days. I hope I can survived till the weekend without getting sicker!

It has arrived

My new torture device errrrr I mean my wonderful new exercise bike has arrived.  It has been put together and I have already clocked 4 miles on it. Walking and biking are two completely different demons.  The pain in my right knee is still killing me as I type this but I will grin and bear it.  Along with my 4 mile biking I also walked 1.08 miles.  I officially walked every day the month of January for at least one mile!  I am feeling great about that!

Mondays Suck

Weight: 257!!! SERIOUSLY! This is the part that gets me irritated. I'm working out like a mad woman and I'm watching what I eat. Why the hell am I only losing 2 pounds a week?  Something is wrong. But I refuse to get discouraged.

I am wordless

I come here to write everyday and many time likes today I really have nothing to say. I am on a diet, it is a daily struggle, blah, blah, blah. I am suffering major writer block today so nothing is really coming to me.

My exercise bike has not been delivered as of the typing of this entry and I need to go figure out what I am having for dinner.

It is just a number

Today I was woke up at 5:30am by Jack climbing on top of the television in my bedroom.  It seems having surgery the day before has not slowed him down one little bit.   DH and I decided that since we were already awake we might as well get dressed and go get our grocery shopping done before everyone else in Las Vegas decided the same thing.   I managed to get a variety of items for my diet that should last me at least 10-14 days. I tried to get a variety of fruits and vegetables and got plenty of ground turkey and canned white meat chicken.

I am hoping for at least a 5 pound weight loss this coming week.  I am heading toward my first goal!!

Tales of the Scale

Last Weigh In Weight: 259.4

Today's Weigh In Weight: 259.8

Weight Gain: ↑ 0.4

 BMI: 41.9 - Extremely Obese
Total Weight Loss: 38.8

Setting Goals

My new goal starting next week is to clock 20 miles a week on my new weight loss weapon.   Yes I finally ordered the exercise bike I have been wanting for the last 6 months.  I kept putting it off because I could not justify spending the money when we are struggling so hard to just get by.   Then I realized that this is an investment in my future and it will help me reach my goals to be a healthier happier me,  it also didn't hurt that it went on sale and was under $100.00   So now I just have to play the waiting game for it to be delivered to the store for pickup!

Tired

I was tired all day today from staying out to late last night, but today was a better day than most this week.   I got my exercise in, I stayed within my calories, and I managed to not binge or kill anyone.  

That is a great day in my book!!

Tomorrow is another day

There are times in life where you have to acknowledge you messed up, then just move on.  I have been really bad this week and I have not stayed in my calorie limit.  I have had Kentucky Fried Chicken, Olive Garden, and tonight Boulder Station Buffet complete with cheesecake and ice cream for dessert.   I know I can not realistically cut all these foods from my life completely, but I probably shouldn't indulge in them all in the same week!!

After the orge at the buffet Bruce, Susan and myself went down to Fremont Street to check out the new canopy light show for Chinese New Year and to walk around and play tourist.  It is great exercise and you always see a lot of interesting "characters" here.   Tonight was not as crazy as it is on the weekend but there were a few weirdos out trolling the streets.  I didn't win a million dollars so I guess I will have to report to work in the morning! lol

For now it is way past my bed time and tomorrow is another day!  Good Night All!

I paid $13.25 for this?

We went to Olive Garden tonight and this is what I had for dinner.  Now really would you pay $13.25 for 7 ravioli?

BREAKFAST

SNACK

LUNCH

KFC -  Breast, Mashed Potatoes, Gravy and Cole Slaw

SNACK

DINNER

Olive Garden - Ravioli Portabello, Salad, and Iced Tea 

WATER

90-100 ounces 

EXERCISE

Completed a 0.72-mile walking activity. (Day 28)

Where did the day go?

Oh, I remember now, I spent it watching both football teams I was cheering for beat their damn selves out of the Super Bowl.   Other than that it was a pretty unproductive day.  I woke up with a headache and a backache and I still have them both.  : (  I did manage to make a pot of vegetable soup and get my daily walk-in regardless.

BREAKFAST

SNACK

LUNCH

SNACK

DINNER

Cabbage Soup

WATER

90-100 ounces 

EXERCISE

Completed a 1.16-mile walking activity. (Day 28)

A Very Blustery Day

Today is a very blustery days, which always remind me of Winnie the Pooh.  “Oh what a blustery day! It must be Windsday again!"  Actually it is Saturday and I kept waiting to see Pooh and Piglet blowing by.   Hubby and I went to the store and bought some groceries and then went to the garage to have some tires put on the car.  The wind was almost impossible to walk in but I did manage a little under a mile. I figure that plus the walk to Burger King and back while they were working on the car was probably over a mile.

I am off to watch some DVR recordings and get some rest for the football games tomorrow!  Go Ravens and 49ers!!

BREAKFAST

SNACK

LUNCH 

Whopper and 5 French Fries I stole from Bruce

SNACK

DINNER

Cabbage Soup

WATER

90-100 ounces

EXERCISE

Completed a 0.88-mile walking activity. (Day 27)

Tales of the Scale

I didn't actually plan to have a weight loss this morning of more than a pound so imagine my surprise when this number popped up!  I am down 2.4 pounds in a week, and made it under 260 pounds!

I did okay today, not great, but okay.  I am still having issues with balancing my food intake.  I either eat too much or not enough, and I still have this grazing issue where I want to eat at night while sitting on the computer or watching television.

Tomorrow I have to do one of my least favorite things, I have to go grocery shopping.  I have spent hours walking isles and reading labels and standing in front of glass frozen food doors looking at healthy choices, weight watcher, and lean cuisine.  I just can't justify spending $2.48 for 4 bites of food but I have no problem dropping $7.00 for a Big Mac Combo.  They say eating healthy costs more but does it really?

BREAKFAST

Hot Tea and Fiber One Bar

LUNCH

SNACK

DINNER

One slice of pizza and a garlic breadstick

SNACK

WATER

90-100 ounces

EXERCISE

Completed a 1.36-mile walking activity. (Day 26)

Food Journal

BREAKFAST

Hot Tea and Apple

SNACK

LUNCH

SNACK

DINNER

Turkey Taco Salad

WATER

90-100 ounces

EXERCISE

Completed a 1.23-mile walking activity. (Day 25)

Life is slowly changing

So the scale is not moving a whole lot this week but I refuse to get discouraged.  I am in this to succeed this time.  I've had an extremely stressful week and I am sure it has a lot to do with my current lack of scale movement.

Hubby and I have currently filed a claim with our bank against Midas to try and get our $600.00 back for the unnecessary work they performed on our vehicle.  Now we are just waiting and hoping that with all the documentation from the second garage that the bank will side with us and give us back our money.    As for the car, it is a pile of scrap metal in the parking lot.  It has bent valves and a cracked head and basically needs a new engine that will cost $1,100.00 to $1,500.00 which we just do not have.   So for now we are a one-car family.   I will be so very angry if Midas does not have to repay us the money that they STOLE from us.   $600.00 is almost my rent for a month for God's sake.

Weight Loss Wisdom:  You are far too smart to be the only thing standing in your way.

BREAKFAST

Hot Tea and  Fiber One 90 Calorie Chocolate Chewy Bar

SNACK

LUNCH

6 inch roast beef sub from subway

SNACK 

DINNER

Beef Fajitas and a Margarita

WATER

90-100 ounces

EXERCISE

Completed a 1.15-mile walking activity. (Day 24)

No Time? No Excuse

When you want something bad enough, you make the time regardless of your other obligations. The truth is most people just don't want it bad enough. I want it BAD, I want it so bad that when I realized at 8:45pm that I had not walked tonight I got my ass out of bed, got dressed, and went and walked 2 miles in the fucking cold dark Nevada night.   I am tired, I am cold, I am mad, I am sad.  Today was a roller coaster of emotions and the hits just keep coming one after another.

I spent most of my morning on the phone with 3 different drug companies trying to get co-pay assistance for three medications that my husband MUST have.  When the first of the year rolled around my insurance company dropped them off their drug list so the price for the three started out at $800.00.  Then we sent the medication to the mail pharmacy that the insurance company REQUIRES we use and the price dropped to $305.00 which I still could not afford.  After spending 2 hours on the phone and making 6-7 phone calls I got all three medications dropped to $78.00 which is still expensive but it is doable.

I got to feel great about this accomplishment for about 3 seconds until my daughter called to let me know some terrible news (I can't share at this time) I am so angry and she is so confused and hurt.  I of course have to be 3000 miles away so I can't hold her or comfort her and it is breaking my heart.

So, I will keep repeating to myself... I'm totally fine. I'm totally fine. I'm totally fine.

BREAKFAST

McDonald's Fruit 'n Yogurt Parfait - 160 Calories

SNACK

Orange and Hot Tea

LUNCH

Beef Barley Soup - 230 calories

SNACK

DINNER

Turkey Taco Salad and Iced Tea

WATER

90-100 ounces

EXERCISE

Completed a 2.03-mile walking activity. (Day 23)

I don't wanna talk about it

BREAKFAST

Orange and Hot Tea

SNACK

LUNCH

SNACK

DINNER

BINGE!!!!!!!

WATER

90-100 ounces

EXERCISE

Completed a 1.01-mile walking activity. (Day 22)

Quiet Sunday

BREAKFAST

1 scrambled egg

toast
3 strawberries and an orange

SNACK

LUNCH

SNACK

DINNER

Turkey Taco Salad

Yogurt and Strawberries

WATER

90-100 ounces

EXERCISE

Completed a 1.14-mile walking activity. (Day 21)

Busy Saturday

Today hubby and I took the car to a second garage which was recommended by a friend at work, after doing a brief inspection they are fairly sure it needs motor mounts.  This is exactly what I have been saying since the car engine started vibrating. They have kept the car to do a complete inspection and estimate to make sure that the "RIGHT" thing gets repaired this time.  We left the garage and went and had breakfast, strangely enough at the same place we had dinner last night.  After breakfast we went to the bank to stop payment to MIDAS, so we can pay the second garage which is actually repairing what is wrong with the car.  After the bank went to get hair cuts, went to Payless Shoe Source where I got a great pair of rockin shoes (really they rock they have a rocker bottom) then to Walmart to get some pet and human food (mostly pet they eat better than us).  Speaking of food here we go

BREAKFAST

Egg White Omelet with Bell Pepper, Mushrooms, and Red Onion

1/2 cup of Corn Beef Hash

1 slice of bacon

1/2 cup hashbrowns

1 orange

Iced Tea

SNACK

LUNCH

SNACK

DINNER

Turkey Sandwich with Lettuce, Tomato, Red Onion, Avocado, Light Mayo on Wheat Bread

WATER

90-100 ounces

EXERCISE

Completed a 1.12-mile walking activity. (Day 20)

Tales of the Scale

Last Weigh In Weight: 268.8

Today's Weigh In Weight: 261.8

This Week's Weight Loss: ↓ 7.0

 BMI: 42.3 - Extremely Obese
Total Weight Loss: 36.8 lbs

Hubby and I dropped off our car at our local MIDAS this morning so they could check it out and let us know what was causing the engine to vibrate violently and what it would cost to repair it.  Hubby was told after they got through with their inspection that the coil pack was leaking oil into the spark plugs and that the pack, spark plugs, spark plug wires had to be replaced, they also recommended a tune-up and said they would throw in a "free" oil change.  They started at $800.00 and finally settled on $600.00.   He was told that he could pick up the car in 2-3 hours they would call when it was ready.

Well, almost 6 hours later he received a phone call that all that work was completed but the engine was still vibrating "a little" so we also needed a timing belt which would cost an additional $400.00.   I was so angry!  I told him NO tell them not to do anything else to the car and we would pick it up when I got off of work.   We went and paid and picked up our car and was told again that the engine will still be vibrating "a little" until we get the timing belt replaced but that the car was safe to drive and that it was a lot better.  I drove it home and they had done nothing to repair the car it was still doing the exact same thing it was doing when we dropped it off this morning.

We went to dinner and then on the way home stopped at Walmart so I could run in and get some frozen yogurt.  I stood in this long ass line waiting to purchase my frozen yogurt (cause that's how I roll) and I was watching this beautiful little girl in front of me playing with a barbie doll in a box. Mom and Dad got to the register to pay for the few food items they had and took the doll away from the little girl and placed it off to the side. The little girl started crying and I could tell the mother was heartbroken, they obviously could not afford it. So to make a long story short (though I think it is too late for that) I had the cashier ring up the doll and I gave it to that little girl.  The smile on her face could have lit up the Las Vegas Strip, and for probably the first time this week I forgot all my problems and was very content and happy for a little while.

BREAKFAST

Orange and Hot Tea

SNACK

LUNCH

Turkey Breast Sandwich - 210 calories

V8 juice - 50 calories

1 cup grapes - 110 calories 

SNACK

DINNER

Small Salad

Roast Turkey

Green Beans

Brussel Sprouts

Carrots, Squash and Chestnuts

Iced Tea     

WATER

90-100 ounces

EXERCISE

Completed a 1.21 mile walking activity. (Day 19)

Yep.... Still Grumpy!

I swear at the rate I am going, I should go to a curtain call for one of Snow White's drawfs.   I don't know if it is all the stress I have been under in the past 2 weeks, my body trying to adjust to no caffeine and my new diet, or a combination of all the above.  I am hopeful that next week will be a whole lot better.

I have been doing a lot of reading at night and I actually feel I am learning and retaining some very important information to help me on my continued journey to get and stay healthy.  I ordered the Biggest Loser Calorie Counter Book today and also Hungry Girl 300 recipes under 300 calories.  I can't wait to add them to my bedstand library!

Tomorrow is the official weigh-in and I am feeling really good about it!  This morning's unofficial weight was 262.2.  I am hoping to be around 261 tomorrow that would be the best thing to happen to me all week!

BREAKFAST

1/2 Choban Greek Yogurt Strawberry - 70 calories

SNACK

LUNCH

Subway 6 inch Turkey Breast Sandwich - 280 calories

Light Mayo -  50 calories

SNACK

DINNER

4-ounce turkey patty - 170 calories

Salad - 0 calories

WATER

90-100 ounces

EXERCISE

Completed a 1.15-mile walking activity. (Day 18)

I am grumpy today

264.2 is the number that was looking back at me from the scale this morning.  I have lost 4.6 pounds since last Wednesday!  The official weigh-in is not until Friday so I hope to break 5 pounds!  I really was not feeling it today.  I didn't like the food and I disliked walking even more!   Tomorrow has to be better.... right?

BREAKFAST

McDonald's Fruit 'n Yogurt Parfait  - 160 Calories

SNACK

LUNCH

50 gram baked chicken breaST

Salad  (28 grams of cheese - 110 calories.  2 Tbsp low cal dressing 80 calories)

1 hard-boiled egg - 80 calories

SNACK

DINNER

4-ounce turkey patty - 170 calories

Salad  (28 grams of cheese - 110 calories.  2 Tbsp low cal dressing 80 calories)

Avocado - 276 calories 

WATER

90-100 ounces

EXERCISE

Completed a 1.11 mile walking activity. (Day 17)

Not Hungry

Just a quick note to say Hi!  My eating was not great today (I didn't eat enough), my water intake was not great today, but I did walk 2.31 miles :)  I have hit that wall where I am never hungry and do not want to eat anything which is not healthy for you either.   I have also made a major milestone where walking has now become a habit and not a chore.  I HAVE to walk at least a mile a day or I feel like I am cheating on myself. Off to watch The Biggest Loser! Have a great night!!

BREAKFAST

SNACK

LUNCH

I picked some chicken out of a can of soup

SNACK

DINNER

100 gram baked chicken breast

Salad  (28 grams of cheese - 110 calories.  2 Tbsp low cal dressing 80 calories)

WATER

60-70 ounces 

EXERCISE

Completed a 1.06-mile walking activity. (Day 16) 

Completed a 1.25-mile walking activity. Total 2.31 miles

Monday Grumpday

Still felt the effects of Auntie Flo so I was grumpy and crampy all day.  My food intake was pretty good, my water intake sucked and it took me walking twice to get my two miles in.   We will blame the bunny for that!!

BREAKFAST

Apple

SNACK

LUNCH

Cabbage Soup

SNACK

1 Hershey Kiss with Almonds - 22 calories

DINNER

Cabbage Soup

Small Slice Apple Pie

WATER

EXERCISE

Completed a 1.28-mile walking activity. (Day 15)

Completed a 0.88-mile walking activity. Total 2.14 mile 

Two Mile Milestone

Despite the fact that Auntie Flo decided to move in today I fought through the pain and got out and walked 2.10 miles this afternoon in 43 minutes and 45 seconds.  My food intake was great for the day except for my indulgence of three bites of apple pie!   I am positive there will be a weight loss on the scale this coming week!  And I am feeling pretty wonderful about that!

I am undertaking a life-changing weight loss journey, with the intention of keeping it off for life.  I have placed myself on a road from which I may never depart if I hope to achieve my goals. There is no destination. There is only the road. Sometimes that road will be pleasant and easy to travel; other times, there will be steep hills, potholes, and most certainly, detours.

BREAKFAST

SNACK

LUNCH

6 inches cold cut sub - 370 calories

SNACK

DINNER

Cabbage Soup

3 bites of Apple Pie

WATER

90-100 ounces

EXERCISE

Completed a 2.10-mile walking activity. (Day 14)

So happy this week is over

This morning I received the news that someone very important to me, that I knew pretty much from birth had passed away.  He was always in my life, and he always told me the greatest stories about my father who died when I was 18 months old (drinking and driving stupidity). Much later in life, I married his stepson and he did become my father for a while. Rest in Peace Cecil you will never ever be forgotten.

 

BREAKFAST

SNACK

LUNCH

1/2 Cobb Salad - 355 calories 

SNACK

DINNER

Pot Roast

Rice

Corn 

WATER

60-70 ounces 

EXERCISE

Completed a 1.10-mile walking activity. (Day 13)

TGIF

BREAKFAST

Maple and Brown Sugar Oatmeal - 120 Calories 

LUNCH

Apple - 100 calories 

SNACK

LUNCH

SNACK

DINNER 

Chili's Bar and Grill

Crispy Onion Strings and Jalapeno Stack w/ Ranch - 300 calories?

1/2 Cobb Salad - 355 calories

1/2 Slice Cheesecake - 355 calories

Unsweet Tea - 0 Calories

WATER

60-70 ounces

EXERCISE

Completed a 1.04-mile walking activity. (Day 12)

This week is kicking me in the ass

Pizza last night turned out to make me deathly ill for about 12 hours, got word that someone very close to me back home in Alabama is in hospice care and not expected to make it through the day, my health insurance premiums went up, and yet the insurance is no longer going to cover my husband's medication that he has to have and to top it all off I binged for dinner. Stress equals FOOD!  I have to break this cycle! So how was your day?

BREAKFAST

1 Scrambled Egg - 100 calories

5 sprays of I can't believe its not butter - 0 calories

1 slice dry toast  - 60 calories

SNACK

LUNCH

Progresso Chicken and Noodle Soup - 250 calories

Apple  - 100 calories 

SNACK

DINNER

2 servings of meatloaf - 600 calories?

1 cup green beans - 50 calories

WATER

60-70 ounces

EXERCISE

Completed a 1.11-mile walking activity. (Day 11)

The Biggest Loser

In honor of the new season of The Biggest Loser starting last night we weighed in at work today for our own 12-week Biggest Loser contest.  Ten dollar entry fee, 12 weeks, last weigh in March 30, 2012 winner take all!  I got my eye on the prize!!   Wish me luck!!  Check the sidebar for updates on my progress!!

Today I also found out I like Crystal Light Natural Raspberry Peach A LOT!!

BREAKFAST

Maple and Brown Sugar  -200 calories

Crystal Light Water

SNACK

LUNCH

Apple  - 100 calories

SNACK

DINNER

1 slice pizza  (approximately 330 calories

1 bread stick (approximately 170 calories)

WATER

60-70 ounces

EXERCISE

Completed a 1.32-mile walking activity. (Day 10)

Blah

BREAKFAST

Maple and Brown Sugar

Banana

Water 

SNACK

LUNCH

Soup

Apple

SNACK

DINNER

Baked Chicken

Green Beans

Mac and Cheese 

WATER

60-70 ounces

EXERCISE

Completed a 1.19-mile walking activity. (Day 9)    

Back to Reality

Today is the last day of my 10-day vacation and tomorrow it is back to work and back to my normal life schedule.  I hope to be able to continue the work I have started while enjoying some most needed time off. Today was the 8th consecutive day that I walked a mile or more.   I am very proud of this accomplishment.  It is a major step forward for me.  The next step for me is to conquer my food addiction/food binge pattern.  I am hoping that getting back to a more regular schedule will help me achieve this because there will be less time to be bored with nothing better to do than eat.

In reflection last year was the most challenging, wonderful, amazing, transformative year of my life. It was all about growth, healing, and change. This year I am going to continue the growth, healing and changes by achieving the following goals.

• I’m going to be the most, loving, supportive partner that I can be for my wonderful husband and best friend Bruce.

• I’m going to surround myself with positive people. Toxic people have no place in my life and I will not let them in.

• I'm going to do what makes me happy, not what others believe I should do.

• I’m going to start buying healthier food.

• I’m going to continue my new exercise regimen of walking 1 mile at least 5 times a week.

• I’m going to get as close to my goal weight as possible in a safe and healthy way.

• I'm going to conquer my soda addiction for good and start drinking at least 100 ounces of water a day.

• I’m going to check into a medical assistance class.   I do not know if I will have the time or the money to pursue it at this time but you never know until you investigate the options.

• I’m going to attempt to save $25.00 a paycheck.  

So moving forward I have a plan, now let see if I have the willpower!!  I am off to clean the kitchen, watch the bachelor and attempt to get my ass in bed at a decent hour since I have to be up and running at 6am tomorrow!  Back to reality, we go!!

BREAKFAST

SNACK

LUNCH

Salad

One tablespoon of dressing

Banana 

SNACK

DINNER

Bowl of Chili

A glass of 2% milk

WATER

100-120 ounces

EXERCISE

Completed a 1.14-mile walking activity. (Day 8) 

Happy New Year!! Welcome 2012

Happy New Year Everyone! I hope you had a great holiday season and you are ready to embrace a new year. 2012 presents a fresh new year with three hundred and sixty-five days of possibilities. 

Last year I started a journey of health and well-being.  I am starting the year 28.6 pounds lighter.  It is not a hugely impressive number, but that is 28.6 pounds I will never see again.  This year I am going to continue the journey of health, healing, and change.  I'm feeling hopeful that my life is headed in the right direction.

Completed a 1.19-mile walking activity. (Day 7)