Happy New Years Eve

Just want to say that I will be glad to put 2011 behind me and I look forward to 2012.   I have great plans for  2012 and I look forward to watching them unfold!   I hope everyone is safe tonight no matter how you are celebrating the last day of the year.  I will be spending it at home with Bruce on the couch having a couple of drinks and watching the fireworks on television.

Today was a so-so day with the eating and a terrible day for exercise.  My right foot is absolutely killing me but I did get out and attempt to walk.  I didn't make it a mile but I did walk!  I feel good about that.

BREAKFAST

None

LUNCH

None

DINNER

Pepper Steak

Salad

12 oz of Pepsi

WATER

100-120 ounces

EXERCISE

Completed a 0.89 mile walking activity.  (Day 6)

Still pushing through the pain

Every morning, the opportunity to make healthy choices and do the right thing presents itself.

Every morning, I must make a conscious effort to make positive changes in my life.
Every morning, I must choose to love myself enough to let myself succeed.

BREAKFAST

None

LUNCH

None

DINNER

Ham Sandwich

Serving of Potato Chips

2 Tablespoons of Dip

Lemonade Crystal Light 

WATER

60-70 ounces

EXERCISE

Completed a 1.16-mile walking activity.  (Day 5)

Pain Pain go away

I didn't feel well today and it shows below.   Just feeling sick and my right foot and left hip are hurting.

BREAKFAST

Ham and Egg Omelet - 300 calories

LUNCH

DINNER

Spaghetti and Meatsauce

WATER

60-70 ounces

EXERCISE

Completed a 1.16-mile walking activity.  (Day 4)

Control

I seem to be gaining control over my water intake and also over my exercise.  The next step and the hardest step will be gaining control over my food addiction.  I love food which is no secret or surprise, but I must learn to have a healthy relationship with it.  2012 is going to be my year just you wait and see!!

BREAKFAST

Ham Biscuit

1 Can of Mt Dew 

LUNCH

None

DINNER

2 Nathan Hotdogs
Serving of Lay's Potato Chips
Glass of Milk 

WATER

100-120 ounces

EXERCISE

Completed a 1.15-mile walking activity. (Day 3)

I Binged Tonight

I don't always eat the best food for my body but, tonight it was REAL ugly. A what you may ask could be "that" bad. Let me introduce Del Taco's Macho Nachos!!

Yes I really put that into my body.  The sad thing is I did not enjoy it, well maybe it actually is a good thing so in the future I will avoid it.  Now on to the shocking nutritional facts:

Yes that says 1000 calories.  I was in utter shock when I went searching for the calories of this fiasco of a meal!  I am not dwelling on this because it is not going to do anything but make me want to binge more, but I am going to file this information in the lessons learned folder.

BREAKFAST

Ham and Egg Omelet - 300 calories

2 dry toast - 200 calories

LUNCH

NONE

DINNER

Turkey
Dressing
Green Beans
Cranberry Sauce
2 Sugar Cookies

MIDNIGHT BINGE

Del Taco's Macho Nachos

WATER

100-110 ounces

EXERCISE

Completed a 1.13-mile walking activity.  (Day 2)

If I Really Want To Succeed

Then why do I continue to fail?  There is a part of me that truly believes that I will reach my ideal healthy weight. But there is also a part of me that thinks that I never will and I am just kidding myself.  Why do I lose weight and then gain it back again?  Why is this so hard for me?  Is there really a thin body inside all of this fat?  Can this body ever be the body that I or others will desire?  Why does weight loss continue to elude me?  These are questions I have found myself asking a lot lately.  I really wish I had the answers but unfortunately, I do not.  I am still searching for these answers like I am still searching for myself.

EXERCISE

Completed a 1.11-mile walking activity. (Day 1)

Merry Christmas

Thank God the scariest holiday for people watching their weight is over!  I will not post a blow by blow but lets just say it could have been a whole lot worse!  So starting tomorrow it is time to get back to exercising and food tracking.

Merry Christmas to all and to all a good night!

To Tired To Think

I am too tired to think of anything clever to say tonight so you are just getting a boring food journal.

BREAKFAST

1 package of oatmeal - 100 calories

2 packs of equal - 0 calories

2 tablespoons of milk - 50 calories

10 ounces diet Pepsi - 0 calories

SNACK

10 ounces of V8 - 75 calories 

LUNCH

Greek Salad - 150 calories

2 small pieces of steak -  150 calories

2 small pieces of chicken - 100 calories

1/2 cup white rice - 160 calories

DINNER

Large Salad - 0 calories

1 serving of croutons - 30 calories

1/4 cup shredded cheddar - 110 calories

2 Tablespoons Thousand Island - 140 calories 

WATER

40-50 ounces

EXERCISE

I walked a few laps around Walmart does that count? 

Goals Revisted

One of the biggest reasons diets fail is we don’t believe we can achieve our goal. One way to help us believe is to set short-term goals we know we can achieve. Once we’ve achieved these goals we will feel empowered which will motivate us to set newer and bigger goals. The hope is to have a snowball effect until we wake up one day and realize we’ve created several healthy habits that we can keep for the rest of our life.

Way back in March I listed the following short term goals:

1. Walk 30 minutes a day ~~Accomplished
2. Drink 64-70 ounces of water a day. ~~Accomplished
3. Cut out all soda (currently drinking 1-2 cans of diet Pepsi a day) ~~Accomplished
4. Be able to wear the nursing scrubs they sell at Walmart. (Silly but personal) ~~ Epic Fail
5. Walk 5K "Race for the Cure" on May 7, 2011. ~~ Epic Fail due to major illness

As you can see I accomplished 3 of the 5 which for me was a great accomplishment.  Then in May, I had a major illness and everything went out the window.   So here we are with two weeks left in 2011 and I have decided to get a jump start on 2012.   So my short term goals to complete by January 31, 2012

1. Walk 30 minutes a day 5 times a week. ~~Accomplished
2. Drink 64-70 ounces of water a day. ~~Accomplished
3. Cut out all soda (currently drinking 1-2 cans of Pepsi/Mt Dew a day). ~~Accomplished
4. No eating after 8:00pm. ~~Accomplished
5. Lose 10 pounds. (268.0 starting weight)  ~~Accomplished

My long term goals to complete by May 9, 2012

1. Be able to wear the nursing scrubs they sell at Walmart. (Silly but personal) ~~Accomplished
2. Lose 40 pounds. (268.0 starting weight). ~~Nope
3. Walk 5K "Race for the Cure" on May 5, 2012. ~~Accomplished

There is a difference between giving up and not moving forward. I anticipate moving forward again.

BREAKFAST

1 package of oatmeal - 100 calories

2 packs of equal - 0 calories

2 tablespoons of milk - 50 calories

10 ounces diet Pepsi -  0 calories

SNACK

8 ounces V8 - 50 calories 

DINNER

Large Salad - 0 calories

1 serving of croutons - 30 calories

1/4 cup shredded cheddar - 110 calories

2 Tablespoons Thousand Island = 140 calories

10 ounces diet Pepsi - 0 calories

SNACK

8 ounces V8 - 50 calories

EXERCISE

Completed a 1.10-mile walking activity.

 

Put One Foot In Front Of The Other

Happy Monday Everyone!  Today was day 3 of being back on track.   I ate well, drank well, and walked 2.16 miles. Man do my legs hurt but in the long run, it will be worth it.  No Pain, No Gain!

BREAKFAST

1 package of oatmeal  - 100 calories

2 packs of equal - 0 calories

2 tablespoons of milk -  50 calories

1 can of Pepsi - 150 calories

SNACK 

1/2 chocolate chip cookie - 50 calories

LUNCH

Progresso Chicken and Wild Rice - 200 calories

Bagel - 110 calories

DINNER

Large Salad - 0 calories

1/2 cup croutons - 65 calories
1/4 cup shredded cheddar - 110 calories
2 Tablespoons Thousand Island - 140 calories

WATER

89 ounces

EXERCISE

Completed a 1.15-mile walking activity.

Completed a 1.01-mile walking activity.

You got to move it move it!

I have finally added exercise back to my daily routine. The goal now is to keep it up!  Except for some right foot issues again I am feeling well, I am not very winded when walking the two trips around the lot, I think tomorrow I will try for three and see what happens.

My weight is hovering at it normal place between 265-270.  At the current time I have not really been focused or trying because of illness and the holidays.  I’m stressed. But who isn’t?  I realize that I haven’t really allowed myself to really feel anything lately. I’ve just been numb. It’s affecting everything, but mainly my weight loss. I’m just barely maintaining. I plan on getting on track after the New Year and hitting ONEderland hopefully by my birthday in May.  It is nice to have goals.

Tales of the Scale - Week 39

Last Weigh In Weight: 263.8 

Today's Weigh In Weight : 256.8 

This Week's Weight Loss : ↓ 7.0

BMI: 41.4 - Extremely Obese Total 

Weight Loss: 41.8

Tales of the Scale - Week 36

Last Weigh In Weight: 259.6

Today's Weigh In Weight: 263.8

Weight Gain: ↑ 4.2

 BMI: 42.6 - Extremely Obese

Total Weight Loss: 34.8

Tales of the Scale - Week 34

Last Weigh In Weight: 263.8

Today's Weigh In Weight: 259.6

This Week's Weight Loss: ↓ 4.2

 BMI: 41.9 - Extremely Obese
Total Weight Loss: 39.0

I set a goal on 08/11/2011 to get under 260 by 08/22/2011 and I made it!!

One more pound to 40 lost!!

So It Wasn't A GREAT Food Day

but it could have been a lot worse.

BREAKFAST
McDonald's Sausage Biscuit (430 calories/12 points)

SNACK
Dannon Oikos Strawberry Yogurt

LUNCH

Smart One Traditional Lasagna with Meat Sauce

SNACK

Snickers Fun Size (72 calories/2 points)

DINNER
Pork Chop, Corn, and Green Beans

SNACK
One Nutty Bar Wafer

WATER

66 ounces

EXERCISE

2 laps around the parking lot

My name is Belinda and I am an emotional eater

For as long as I can remember I have turned to food when I have lost all control over my emotions. I have a toxic relationship in my life that has taken a drastic turn for the worse. That being said the last 4 days have been a real challenge for me.

I almost gave into it tonight but instead I put on my walking shoes and me and Bruce went and took a walk. Good news is that walking is becoming a lot easier for me, I am able to walk further and stop fewer times. Bad news is that I still want to go sit in front of the refrigerator and eat everything in it! I must stay focused and not give in!

Tales of the Scale - Week 33

Last Weigh In Weight: 265.8

Today's Weigh In Weight: 263.8

This Week's Weight Loss: ↓ 2.0

 BMI: 42.6 - Extremely Obese
Total Weight Loss: 34.8

BREAKFAST

1 Strawberry Poptart

SNACK
Apple

LUNCH

Banana Cream Yogurt

SNACK
2 tablespoons peanut butter one slice of bread

DINNER

Mixed Vegetables with 5 sprays of I can't believe it's not butter

WATER

130-140 ounces

EXERCISE

3 laps around the parking lot.

Struggle... Stumble... Grumble

Everytime I get in my groove and think that I am finally winning this battle something happens and I find myself back down at the bottom, maybe even a little lower, trying to scratch and crawl my way back to the top!

Albert Einstein once said that the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results. If that is the case I am the most INSANE person I have ever known!!

Did you know that the biggest obstacle to weight loss is not your body but your mind? I have decided that I must focus on setting small realistic goals or I will go complete crazy looking at the big picture!

That being said my next goal is to conquer this plateau I have been on for the past 6 months and get under 260 pounds. I hope to accomplish this by Monday, August 22, 2011. ~~Accomplished!! 8/22/2011

Tales of the Scale - Week 32

Last Weigh In Weight: 268.8

Today's Weigh In Weight: 265.8

This Week's Weight Loss: ↓ 3.0

 BMI: 42.9 - Extremely Obese
Total Weight Loss: 32.8

Small Steps

I got home from work today and made two laps around the parking lot at the complex I live in.  It is nothing that requires trumpets and fanfare, but it is a start.

Tales of the Scale - Week 31

Last Weigh In Weight: 265.2

Today's Weigh In Weight: 268.8

Weight Gain: ↑ 3.6

 BMI: 43.4 - Extremely Obese

Total Weight Loss: 29.8

♫ Here I go again on my own ♫ Going down the only road I've ever known ♫ Unfortunately that road is named Diet and I have taken a detour at the crossroad Frustration and gotten lost.  I have been gaining and losing the same five pounds for the past six months and it is really frustrating.  I have been setting goals and failing to achieve them.  I have not been eating properly nor have I been exercising. 

Today at work our Biggest Loser challenge began.  We weighed in and will be competing for 12 weeks.  Everyone who joined put in $25.00 and at last count we had 22 people so that is a pot of $550.00 for the winner.  

I am very excited and hope this provides me the needed incentive to get back on track.  My friend Kati is teaching me how to do Weight Watchers Points and so far it seems like a program I can stick with.

The good Lord gave you a body that can stand most anything. It's your mind you have to convince.

Tales of the Scale - Week 13

Last Weigh In Weight: 267.2

Today's Weigh In Weight: 266.6

This Week's Weight Loss: ↓ 0.6

 BMI: 43.0 - Extremely Obese
Total Weight Loss: 32

Tales of the Scale - Week 12

Last Weigh In Weight: 268.4

Today's Weigh In Weight: 267.2

This Week's Weight Loss: ↓ 1.2

 BMI: 43.1 - Extremely Obese
Total Weight Loss: 31.4

I've had a crappy week

It has been a crappy week.  I had a pound gain at Monday's weigh in.  I am still finding it extremely hard to stay on track with my eating on the weekend.  I am tired and don't want to cook, hubby is tired because he cooks all week and wants to go out, and there are just to many unbusy hours in the day.  At least when I am at work my mind is occupied for 9 hours a day.   Eating out that is another nightmare, I never am really sure what to order to eat and there is so much temptation involved in going and sitting down where you can have almost anything your heart desires. 

I went off the deep end yesterday and ate Sonic and Panda Express and the sad thing is I don't know why exactly but it was definately not hunger.   I don't believe I am not losing weight because of my diet, I believe I am not losing weight because I don't eat often enough.  I can get up in the morning and go all day without eating but then when I get home I am usually starved and that causes a binge effect.  I am so sick of water, and crystal light/drink mixes do not help.  I am not a water person so any water consumption for me is good.   I really need to get focus on my water consumption and get off of diet pepsi.

I also started another journey this week.  I am addicted to prescription sleeping medication and when my pills ran out this past Sunday I decided that I am determined to get off of them.  I don't think any task that you need to accomplish for your health and well being is ever easy and this is no exception.  I am not sleeping and I am so tired that I can barely function, but I will take that over the memory lost I have been experiencing after taking the medication anytime.

It will be a challenge, but hopefully I can get it all together and come out of this week with a loss.

May I get a side of motivation with that?

So today was not a good day at all.  I had Sonic for breakfast, I had Panda Express for Lunch, I ate pork chops, mashed potatoes, and green beans for dinner.  I snacked on a candy bar and chocolate pudding.  I just did not care and it was very discouraging!  Why do I sabotage myself like this?  I would really like to be able to answer this question but I can't.   Maybe one day I will have the answer but for now I will continue to fight and search for motivation.

Tales of the Scale - Week 11

Last Weigh In Weight: 267.4

Today's Weigh In Weight: 268.4

This Week's Weight Gain:  ↑ 1.0

BMI: 43.3 - Extremely Obese

Total Weight Loss: 30.2

Everyone has their Demons

Sonic is mine.  It won the battle.  I stopped on my way to work this morning.  I was all prepared to order a New York Dog, Tater Tots, and a Large Coke!! Mmmm! Mmmm! Mmmm!

I won the war though. . . I only ordered a diet coke with lots of ice! :)

Season of Change

Some weeks prove uneventful as if nothing is going on, there is no motivation, no desire, no feeling of urgency to move forward.  Other weeks are traumatic, emotional, consumed with weight gain, self loathing, and an overall sense of failure.  Then there are weeks like this week that are motivational, productive, successful and eye opening.  I lost 7 pounds in 7 days!  Yay Me!  I also realized that I am changing my life because I want to get healthy, not because I want to be what society dictates as thin and beautiful. I want to be able to hike, to run, to see the view from the top of the mountain and mostly to live life to the fullest without stopping every 15 minutes to rest or catch my breath.

I have spent my entire adult life fighting this demon and looking for love, comfort, support and acceptance.  I finally found all that and so much more in my husband Bruce.  When we met I was at my absolute lowest health wise and my highest weight wise and he fell in love with me.  Bruce loved me at 300 pounds, he never saw me as fat, ugly, or grotesque, he just saw me.  He loved me through sickness, depression, and he still loves me today through all the smiles, sweat, fears and tears. On days when I just can’t seem to keep it together there he is. He is my knight in shining armor.  He does not judge, nor demand. He just loves me.

Tales of the Scale - Week 10

Last Weigh In Weight: 274.4

Today's Weigh In Weight: 267.4

This Week's Weight Loss: ↓ 7.0

BMI: 43.2 - Extremely Obese

Total Weight Loss: 31.2

Great Weekend

Well here it is Sunday evening and another weekend has almost come and gone. I had a pretty good weekend as far as weekend goes. I got up Saturday morning and went out on my cemetery adventure for the weekend. I enjoy helping other people document the final resting place of their family and loved ones and it is also great form of stress relief and exercise for me. I was able to find and photograph three of the six tombstones I had claimed on Find a Grave. The first two were very easy to locate the third proved a little more of a challenge but with the help of a very nice cemetery employee we were finally able to locate and photograph the third.

Saturday Evening Bruce and I went to see Frank Marino's Divas 10pm show at The Imperial Palace. First off Imperial Palace was PACKED! (Who Knew?!?) I have been living in Las Vegas for 10 years and have never been inside this little casino, never even thought about going there. The show was absolutely awesome! I would recommend anyone who has been thinking of going to see it to GO! We were in complete awe of the "women" who are in fact NOT women. Sad to say, but we found ourselves staring and thinking, "Where the heck do they put it?" We will definitely be going back to see this show again and I will be taking my camera because believe it or not this show ALLOWS you to take photos. (Who Knew?!?)

Today has been a quiet day, I have done nothing overly exciting. Uploaded the photo I took yesterday, got them posted, answered some email, watched some recorded shows on my DVR and messed around on facebook. I am very proud of myself this weekend I did not blow my diet, did not eat a bunch of crap, and I did actually weigh this morning and I was down 10 pounds. (Yay Me!) The official weigh in is not until morning though so we will not celebrate just yet.

So here's to the new week, eating right, losing weight, and finding myself.

One Step Forward

So here I sit at work on my lunch break eating my plain salad (no dressing) and drinking my water thinking of how much I would rather be at home. I am really starting to believe that my work environment is part of the reason I have been feeling so depressed lately. I spend 9 hours a day in a 10x10 room with gray walls and ugly brown carpet with no windows. There are 3 desks in this room that I share with my two other co-workers. My goal for the weekend is to purchase some things to place in my work area to make it a little more bright and cheery. I am going to get a bright happy artificial flower and some kind of brightly colored paper to tack over the bulletin board then hang some of the photographs that I have taken of my family. I think that will definitely help with the close, unfriendly quarters that I spend 40 hours a week in.

So today I am actually feeling somewhat better. It could be because it is Friday, it could be because TOM finally showed up, or it could be because foodwise I have had an awesome week. Now I have to start working on the exercise part of my weight loss journey. I do a lot of walking at work throughout the day which helps but it is not nearly enough. This being said I will now list my new short-term goals.

Short Term Goals

1. Walk 30 minutes a day  ~~Accomplished

2. Drink 64-70 ounces of water a day. ~~Accomplished

3. Cut out all soda (currently drinking 1-2 cans of diet Pepsi a day) ~~Accomplished

4. Be able to wear the nursing scrubs they sell at Walmart. (Silly but personal) ~~ Epic Fail

5. Walk 5K "Race for the Cure" on May 7, 2011. ~~ Epic Fail due to major illness

Why

I'm in a rut and I am slipping deeper and deeper into that lonely place I go when I am so completely stressed and overwhelmed. Part of me doesn’t want anyone to know I am depressed, but the other part wants to scream it loud and clear so the world will know. I am struggling and don't know how to get a grip.

Today's Challenge

When I arrived at work today one of my co-workers was passing these out.  Of course these are my absolute favorite candy bar. (shaking and twitching)  She gave me one and it is now laying on my desk taunting me.  The challenge of the day is for it to still be laying there at 4:30pm PST when I get off work.  Wish me lots and lots of luck!!

Butter Finger Fun Size Nutrition Facts

Serving Size 1 bar (21 g / 2 inches x 3/4 inches)

Servings per Container 17 (12.5 oz bag shown)

Amount Per Serving:  Calories 100

Total Fat 4 g
Saturated Fat 2 g

Trans Fat 0 g

Cholesterol 0 mg 

Sodium 50 mg 

Total Carbohydrate 15 g

Dietary Fiber 0 g

Sugars 10 g

Protein 1 g

Tales of the Scale - Week 9

Starting Weight: 270.5

Today's Weigh-In Weight: 274.4

Weight Gain:  ↑ 3.9
BMI: 44.3 - Extremely Obese

So it is quite apparent that my road trip from February 18-21 did real damage to my already wounded mission. Too much road food, not enough water, fruit, or exercise. Eating out is still difficult for me to cope with. I am never sure what to exactly order, how to ask for it to be prepared and because I am actually paying outrageous prices I feel I have to get my money's worth by finishing everything on the plate.

I'm getting back on track, day by day. It's slow going, but I am worth it. I'm working on changing my life for the better again.

Tales of the Scale - Week 7

Starting Weight: 271.4

Todays Weight: 270.5

Weight Loss:      ↓ 0.9
BMI: 43.7 - Extremely Obese

The Fat Truth

I am overweight, no actually I am morbidly obese.
I am determined to lose weight, but have no motivation.
I hide behind my fat, but also because of it.
I feel like I can’t do it alone, but I find it hard to confide in others.
I know how to lose weight; I just can’t seem to overcome temptation.
I binge because I am overweight, which leads me to gain more.

Tales of the Scale - Week 6

Starting Weight:  272.6

Today's Weight: 271.4

Weight Loss: ↓ 1.2
BMI: 43.8 - Extremely Obese

Tales of the Scale - Week 5

Starting Weight: 269.6

Today's Weight: 272.6

Weight Gain:  ↑ 3.0

BMI: 44 - Extremely Obese

Jacelynn Diane

Tiny hands, Tiny feet, there is someone new for you to meet. Jacelynn Diane was born Thursday, January 27, 2011 at 8:14pm weighing 6 pounds and 5 ounces and 19 inches long. Mother and baby doing well. (Okay you can start the grandma jokes now! lol!)