Some weeks prove uneventful as if nothing is going on, there is no motivation, no desire, no feeling of urgency to move forward. Other weeks are traumatic, emotional, consumed with weight gain, self loathing, and an overall sense of failure. Then there are weeks like this week that are motivational, productive, successful and eye opening. I lost 7 pounds in 7 days! Yay Me! I also realized that I am changing my life because I want to get healthy, not because I want to be what society dictates as thin and beautiful. I want to be able to hike, to run, to see the view from the top of the mountain and mostly to live life to the fullest without stopping every 15 minutes to rest or catch my breath.
I have spent my entire adult life fighting this demon and looking for love, comfort, support and acceptance. I finally found all that and so much more in my husband Bruce. When we met I was at my absolute lowest health wise and my highest weight wise and he fell in love with me. Bruce loved me at 300 pounds, he never saw me as fat, ugly, or grotesque, he just saw me. He loved me through sickness, depression, and he still loves me today through all the smiles, sweat, fears and tears. On days when I just can’t seem to keep it together there he is. He is my knight in shining armor. He does not judge, nor demand. He just loves me.