It has arrived

My new torture device errrrr I mean my wonderful new exercise bike has arrived.  It has been put together and I have already clocked 4 miles on it. Walking and biking are two completely different demons.  The pain in my right knee is still killing me as I type this but I will grin and bear it.  Along with my 4 mile biking I also walked 1.08 miles.  I officially walked every day the month of January for at least one mile!  I am feeling great about that!

Mondays Suck

Weight: 257!!! SERIOUSLY! This is the part that gets me irritated. I'm working out like a mad woman and I'm watching what I eat. Why the hell am I only losing 2 pounds a week?  Something is wrong. But I refuse to get discouraged.

I am wordless

I come here to write everyday and many time likes today I really have nothing to say. I am on a diet, it is a daily struggle, blah, blah, blah. I am suffering major writer block today so nothing is really coming to me.

My exercise bike has not been delivered as of the typing of this entry and I need to go figure out what I am having for dinner.

It is just a number

Today I was woke up at 5:30am by Jack climbing on top of the television in my bedroom.  It seems having surgery the day before has not slowed him down one little bit.   DH and I decided that since we were already awake we might as well get dressed and go get our grocery shopping done before everyone else in Las Vegas decided the same thing.   I managed to get a variety of items for my diet that should last me at least 10-14 days. I tried to get a variety of fruits and vegetables and got plenty of ground turkey and canned white meat chicken.

I am hoping for at least a 5 pound weight loss this coming week.  I am heading toward my first goal!!

Tales of the Scale

Last Weigh In Weight: 259.4

Today's Weigh In Weight: 259.8

Weight Gain: ↑ 0.4

 BMI: 41.9 - Extremely Obese
Total Weight Loss: 38.8

Setting Goals

My new goal starting next week is to clock 20 miles a week on my new weight loss weapon.   Yes I finally ordered the exercise bike I have been wanting for the last 6 months.  I kept putting it off because I could not justify spending the money when we are struggling so hard to just get by.   Then I realized that this is an investment in my future and it will help me reach my goals to be a healthier happier me,  it also didn't hurt that it went on sale and was under $100.00   So now I just have to play the waiting game for it to be delivered to the store for pickup!

Tired

I was tired all day today from staying out to late last night, but today was a better day than most this week.   I got my exercise in, I stayed within my calories, and I managed to not binge or kill anyone.  

That is a great day in my book!!

Tomorrow is another day

There are times in life where you have to acknowledge you messed up, then just move on.  I have been really bad this week and I have not stayed in my calorie limit.  I have had Kentucky Fried Chicken, Olive Garden, and tonight Boulder Station Buffet complete with cheesecake and ice cream for dessert.   I know I can not realistically cut all these foods from my life completely, but I probably shouldn't indulge in them all in the same week!!

After the orge at the buffet Bruce, Susan and myself went down to Fremont Street to check out the new canopy light show for Chinese New Year and to walk around and play tourist.  It is great exercise and you always see a lot of interesting "characters" here.   Tonight was not as crazy as it is on the weekend but there were a few weirdos out trolling the streets.  I didn't win a million dollars so I guess I will have to report to work in the morning! lol

For now it is way past my bed time and tomorrow is another day!  Good Night All!

I paid $13.25 for this?

We went to Olive Garden tonight and this is what I had for dinner.  Now really would you pay $13.25 for 7 ravioli?

BREAKFAST

SNACK

LUNCH

KFC -  Breast, Mashed Potatoes, Gravy and Cole Slaw

SNACK

DINNER

Olive Garden - Ravioli Portabello, Salad, and Iced Tea 

WATER

90-100 ounces 

EXERCISE

Completed a 0.72-mile walking activity. (Day 28)

Where did the day go?

Oh, I remember now, I spent it watching both football teams I was cheering for beat their damn selves out of the Super Bowl.   Other than that it was a pretty unproductive day.  I woke up with a headache and a backache and I still have them both.  : (  I did manage to make a pot of vegetable soup and get my daily walk-in regardless.

BREAKFAST

SNACK

LUNCH

SNACK

DINNER

Cabbage Soup

WATER

90-100 ounces 

EXERCISE

Completed a 1.16-mile walking activity. (Day 28)

A Very Blustery Day

Today is a very blustery days, which always remind me of Winnie the Pooh.  “Oh what a blustery day! It must be Windsday again!"  Actually it is Saturday and I kept waiting to see Pooh and Piglet blowing by.   Hubby and I went to the store and bought some groceries and then went to the garage to have some tires put on the car.  The wind was almost impossible to walk in but I did manage a little under a mile. I figure that plus the walk to Burger King and back while they were working on the car was probably over a mile.

I am off to watch some DVR recordings and get some rest for the football games tomorrow!  Go Ravens and 49ers!!

BREAKFAST

SNACK

LUNCH 

Whopper and 5 French Fries I stole from Bruce

SNACK

DINNER

Cabbage Soup

WATER

90-100 ounces

EXERCISE

Completed a 0.88-mile walking activity. (Day 27)

Tales of the Scale

I didn't actually plan to have a weight loss this morning of more than a pound so imagine my surprise when this number popped up!  I am down 2.4 pounds in a week, and made it under 260 pounds!

I did okay today, not great, but okay.  I am still having issues with balancing my food intake.  I either eat too much or not enough, and I still have this grazing issue where I want to eat at night while sitting on the computer or watching television.

Tomorrow I have to do one of my least favorite things, I have to go grocery shopping.  I have spent hours walking isles and reading labels and standing in front of glass frozen food doors looking at healthy choices, weight watcher, and lean cuisine.  I just can't justify spending $2.48 for 4 bites of food but I have no problem dropping $7.00 for a Big Mac Combo.  They say eating healthy costs more but does it really?

BREAKFAST

Hot Tea and Fiber One Bar

LUNCH

SNACK

DINNER

One slice of pizza and a garlic breadstick

SNACK

WATER

90-100 ounces

EXERCISE

Completed a 1.36-mile walking activity. (Day 26)

Food Journal

BREAKFAST

Hot Tea and Apple

SNACK

LUNCH

SNACK

DINNER

Turkey Taco Salad

WATER

90-100 ounces

EXERCISE

Completed a 1.23-mile walking activity. (Day 25)

Life is slowly changing

So the scale is not moving a whole lot this week but I refuse to get discouraged.  I am in this to succeed this time.  I've had an extremely stressful week and I am sure it has a lot to do with my current lack of scale movement.

Hubby and I have currently filed a claim with our bank against Midas to try and get our $600.00 back for the unnecessary work they performed on our vehicle.  Now we are just waiting and hoping that with all the documentation from the second garage that the bank will side with us and give us back our money.    As for the car, it is a pile of scrap metal in the parking lot.  It has bent valves and a cracked head and basically needs a new engine that will cost $1,100.00 to $1,500.00 which we just do not have.   So for now we are a one-car family.   I will be so very angry if Midas does not have to repay us the money that they STOLE from us.   $600.00 is almost my rent for a month for God's sake.

Weight Loss Wisdom:  You are far too smart to be the only thing standing in your way.

BREAKFAST

Hot Tea and  Fiber One 90 Calorie Chocolate Chewy Bar

SNACK

LUNCH

6 inch roast beef sub from subway

SNACK 

DINNER

Beef Fajitas and a Margarita

WATER

90-100 ounces

EXERCISE

Completed a 1.15-mile walking activity. (Day 24)

No Time? No Excuse

When you want something bad enough, you make the time regardless of your other obligations. The truth is most people just don't want it bad enough. I want it BAD, I want it so bad that when I realized at 8:45pm that I had not walked tonight I got my ass out of bed, got dressed, and went and walked 2 miles in the fucking cold dark Nevada night.   I am tired, I am cold, I am mad, I am sad.  Today was a roller coaster of emotions and the hits just keep coming one after another.

I spent most of my morning on the phone with 3 different drug companies trying to get co-pay assistance for three medications that my husband MUST have.  When the first of the year rolled around my insurance company dropped them off their drug list so the price for the three started out at $800.00.  Then we sent the medication to the mail pharmacy that the insurance company REQUIRES we use and the price dropped to $305.00 which I still could not afford.  After spending 2 hours on the phone and making 6-7 phone calls I got all three medications dropped to $78.00 which is still expensive but it is doable.

I got to feel great about this accomplishment for about 3 seconds until my daughter called to let me know some terrible news (I can't share at this time) I am so angry and she is so confused and hurt.  I of course have to be 3000 miles away so I can't hold her or comfort her and it is breaking my heart.

So, I will keep repeating to myself... I'm totally fine. I'm totally fine. I'm totally fine.

BREAKFAST

McDonald's Fruit 'n Yogurt Parfait - 160 Calories

SNACK

Orange and Hot Tea

LUNCH

Beef Barley Soup - 230 calories

SNACK

DINNER

Turkey Taco Salad and Iced Tea

WATER

90-100 ounces

EXERCISE

Completed a 2.03-mile walking activity. (Day 23)

I don't wanna talk about it

BREAKFAST

Orange and Hot Tea

SNACK

LUNCH

SNACK

DINNER

BINGE!!!!!!!

WATER

90-100 ounces

EXERCISE

Completed a 1.01-mile walking activity. (Day 22)

Quiet Sunday

BREAKFAST

1 scrambled egg

toast
3 strawberries and an orange

SNACK

LUNCH

SNACK

DINNER

Turkey Taco Salad

Yogurt and Strawberries

WATER

90-100 ounces

EXERCISE

Completed a 1.14-mile walking activity. (Day 21)

Busy Saturday

Today hubby and I took the car to a second garage which was recommended by a friend at work, after doing a brief inspection they are fairly sure it needs motor mounts.  This is exactly what I have been saying since the car engine started vibrating. They have kept the car to do a complete inspection and estimate to make sure that the "RIGHT" thing gets repaired this time.  We left the garage and went and had breakfast, strangely enough at the same place we had dinner last night.  After breakfast we went to the bank to stop payment to MIDAS, so we can pay the second garage which is actually repairing what is wrong with the car.  After the bank went to get hair cuts, went to Payless Shoe Source where I got a great pair of rockin shoes (really they rock they have a rocker bottom) then to Walmart to get some pet and human food (mostly pet they eat better than us).  Speaking of food here we go

BREAKFAST

Egg White Omelet with Bell Pepper, Mushrooms, and Red Onion

1/2 cup of Corn Beef Hash

1 slice of bacon

1/2 cup hashbrowns

1 orange

Iced Tea

SNACK

LUNCH

SNACK

DINNER

Turkey Sandwich with Lettuce, Tomato, Red Onion, Avocado, Light Mayo on Wheat Bread

WATER

90-100 ounces

EXERCISE

Completed a 1.12-mile walking activity. (Day 20)

Tales of the Scale

Last Weigh In Weight: 268.8

Today's Weigh In Weight: 261.8

This Week's Weight Loss: ↓ 7.0

 BMI: 42.3 - Extremely Obese
Total Weight Loss: 36.8 lbs

Hubby and I dropped off our car at our local MIDAS this morning so they could check it out and let us know what was causing the engine to vibrate violently and what it would cost to repair it.  Hubby was told after they got through with their inspection that the coil pack was leaking oil into the spark plugs and that the pack, spark plugs, spark plug wires had to be replaced, they also recommended a tune-up and said they would throw in a "free" oil change.  They started at $800.00 and finally settled on $600.00.   He was told that he could pick up the car in 2-3 hours they would call when it was ready.

Well, almost 6 hours later he received a phone call that all that work was completed but the engine was still vibrating "a little" so we also needed a timing belt which would cost an additional $400.00.   I was so angry!  I told him NO tell them not to do anything else to the car and we would pick it up when I got off of work.   We went and paid and picked up our car and was told again that the engine will still be vibrating "a little" until we get the timing belt replaced but that the car was safe to drive and that it was a lot better.  I drove it home and they had done nothing to repair the car it was still doing the exact same thing it was doing when we dropped it off this morning.

We went to dinner and then on the way home stopped at Walmart so I could run in and get some frozen yogurt.  I stood in this long ass line waiting to purchase my frozen yogurt (cause that's how I roll) and I was watching this beautiful little girl in front of me playing with a barbie doll in a box. Mom and Dad got to the register to pay for the few food items they had and took the doll away from the little girl and placed it off to the side. The little girl started crying and I could tell the mother was heartbroken, they obviously could not afford it. So to make a long story short (though I think it is too late for that) I had the cashier ring up the doll and I gave it to that little girl.  The smile on her face could have lit up the Las Vegas Strip, and for probably the first time this week I forgot all my problems and was very content and happy for a little while.

BREAKFAST

Orange and Hot Tea

SNACK

LUNCH

Turkey Breast Sandwich - 210 calories

V8 juice - 50 calories

1 cup grapes - 110 calories 

SNACK

DINNER

Small Salad

Roast Turkey

Green Beans

Brussel Sprouts

Carrots, Squash and Chestnuts

Iced Tea     

WATER

90-100 ounces

EXERCISE

Completed a 1.21 mile walking activity. (Day 19)

Yep.... Still Grumpy!

I swear at the rate I am going, I should go to a curtain call for one of Snow White's drawfs.   I don't know if it is all the stress I have been under in the past 2 weeks, my body trying to adjust to no caffeine and my new diet, or a combination of all the above.  I am hopeful that next week will be a whole lot better.

I have been doing a lot of reading at night and I actually feel I am learning and retaining some very important information to help me on my continued journey to get and stay healthy.  I ordered the Biggest Loser Calorie Counter Book today and also Hungry Girl 300 recipes under 300 calories.  I can't wait to add them to my bedstand library!

Tomorrow is the official weigh-in and I am feeling really good about it!  This morning's unofficial weight was 262.2.  I am hoping to be around 261 tomorrow that would be the best thing to happen to me all week!

BREAKFAST

1/2 Choban Greek Yogurt Strawberry - 70 calories

SNACK

LUNCH

Subway 6 inch Turkey Breast Sandwich - 280 calories

Light Mayo -  50 calories

SNACK

DINNER

4-ounce turkey patty - 170 calories

Salad - 0 calories

WATER

90-100 ounces

EXERCISE

Completed a 1.15-mile walking activity. (Day 18)

I am grumpy today

264.2 is the number that was looking back at me from the scale this morning.  I have lost 4.6 pounds since last Wednesday!  The official weigh-in is not until Friday so I hope to break 5 pounds!  I really was not feeling it today.  I didn't like the food and I disliked walking even more!   Tomorrow has to be better.... right?

BREAKFAST

McDonald's Fruit 'n Yogurt Parfait  - 160 Calories

SNACK

LUNCH

50 gram baked chicken breaST

Salad  (28 grams of cheese - 110 calories.  2 Tbsp low cal dressing 80 calories)

1 hard-boiled egg - 80 calories

SNACK

DINNER

4-ounce turkey patty - 170 calories

Salad  (28 grams of cheese - 110 calories.  2 Tbsp low cal dressing 80 calories)

Avocado - 276 calories 

WATER

90-100 ounces

EXERCISE

Completed a 1.11 mile walking activity. (Day 17)

Not Hungry

Just a quick note to say Hi!  My eating was not great today (I didn't eat enough), my water intake was not great today, but I did walk 2.31 miles :)  I have hit that wall where I am never hungry and do not want to eat anything which is not healthy for you either.   I have also made a major milestone where walking has now become a habit and not a chore.  I HAVE to walk at least a mile a day or I feel like I am cheating on myself. Off to watch The Biggest Loser! Have a great night!!

BREAKFAST

SNACK

LUNCH

I picked some chicken out of a can of soup

SNACK

DINNER

100 gram baked chicken breast

Salad  (28 grams of cheese - 110 calories.  2 Tbsp low cal dressing 80 calories)

WATER

60-70 ounces 

EXERCISE

Completed a 1.06-mile walking activity. (Day 16) 

Completed a 1.25-mile walking activity. Total 2.31 miles

Monday Grumpday

Still felt the effects of Auntie Flo so I was grumpy and crampy all day.  My food intake was pretty good, my water intake sucked and it took me walking twice to get my two miles in.   We will blame the bunny for that!!

BREAKFAST

Apple

SNACK

LUNCH

Cabbage Soup

SNACK

1 Hershey Kiss with Almonds - 22 calories

DINNER

Cabbage Soup

Small Slice Apple Pie

WATER

EXERCISE

Completed a 1.28-mile walking activity. (Day 15)

Completed a 0.88-mile walking activity. Total 2.14 mile 

Two Mile Milestone

Despite the fact that Auntie Flo decided to move in today I fought through the pain and got out and walked 2.10 miles this afternoon in 43 minutes and 45 seconds.  My food intake was great for the day except for my indulgence of three bites of apple pie!   I am positive there will be a weight loss on the scale this coming week!  And I am feeling pretty wonderful about that!

I am undertaking a life-changing weight loss journey, with the intention of keeping it off for life.  I have placed myself on a road from which I may never depart if I hope to achieve my goals. There is no destination. There is only the road. Sometimes that road will be pleasant and easy to travel; other times, there will be steep hills, potholes, and most certainly, detours.

BREAKFAST

SNACK

LUNCH

6 inches cold cut sub - 370 calories

SNACK

DINNER

Cabbage Soup

3 bites of Apple Pie

WATER

90-100 ounces

EXERCISE

Completed a 2.10-mile walking activity. (Day 14)

So happy this week is over

This morning I received the news that someone very important to me, that I knew pretty much from birth had passed away.  He was always in my life, and he always told me the greatest stories about my father who died when I was 18 months old (drinking and driving stupidity). Much later in life, I married his stepson and he did become my father for a while. Rest in Peace Cecil you will never ever be forgotten.

 

BREAKFAST

SNACK

LUNCH

1/2 Cobb Salad - 355 calories 

SNACK

DINNER

Pot Roast

Rice

Corn 

WATER

60-70 ounces 

EXERCISE

Completed a 1.10-mile walking activity. (Day 13)

TGIF

BREAKFAST

Maple and Brown Sugar Oatmeal - 120 Calories 

LUNCH

Apple - 100 calories 

SNACK

LUNCH

SNACK

DINNER 

Chili's Bar and Grill

Crispy Onion Strings and Jalapeno Stack w/ Ranch - 300 calories?

1/2 Cobb Salad - 355 calories

1/2 Slice Cheesecake - 355 calories

Unsweet Tea - 0 Calories

WATER

60-70 ounces

EXERCISE

Completed a 1.04-mile walking activity. (Day 12)

This week is kicking me in the ass

Pizza last night turned out to make me deathly ill for about 12 hours, got word that someone very close to me back home in Alabama is in hospice care and not expected to make it through the day, my health insurance premiums went up, and yet the insurance is no longer going to cover my husband's medication that he has to have and to top it all off I binged for dinner. Stress equals FOOD!  I have to break this cycle! So how was your day?

BREAKFAST

1 Scrambled Egg - 100 calories

5 sprays of I can't believe its not butter - 0 calories

1 slice dry toast  - 60 calories

SNACK

LUNCH

Progresso Chicken and Noodle Soup - 250 calories

Apple  - 100 calories 

SNACK

DINNER

2 servings of meatloaf - 600 calories?

1 cup green beans - 50 calories

WATER

60-70 ounces

EXERCISE

Completed a 1.11-mile walking activity. (Day 11)

The Biggest Loser

In honor of the new season of The Biggest Loser starting last night we weighed in at work today for our own 12-week Biggest Loser contest.  Ten dollar entry fee, 12 weeks, last weigh in March 30, 2012 winner take all!  I got my eye on the prize!!   Wish me luck!!  Check the sidebar for updates on my progress!!

Today I also found out I like Crystal Light Natural Raspberry Peach A LOT!!

BREAKFAST

Maple and Brown Sugar  -200 calories

Crystal Light Water

SNACK

LUNCH

Apple  - 100 calories

SNACK

DINNER

1 slice pizza  (approximately 330 calories

1 bread stick (approximately 170 calories)

WATER

60-70 ounces

EXERCISE

Completed a 1.32-mile walking activity. (Day 10)

Blah

BREAKFAST

Maple and Brown Sugar

Banana

Water 

SNACK

LUNCH

Soup

Apple

SNACK

DINNER

Baked Chicken

Green Beans

Mac and Cheese 

WATER

60-70 ounces

EXERCISE

Completed a 1.19-mile walking activity. (Day 9)    

Back to Reality

Today is the last day of my 10-day vacation and tomorrow it is back to work and back to my normal life schedule.  I hope to be able to continue the work I have started while enjoying some most needed time off. Today was the 8th consecutive day that I walked a mile or more.   I am very proud of this accomplishment.  It is a major step forward for me.  The next step for me is to conquer my food addiction/food binge pattern.  I am hoping that getting back to a more regular schedule will help me achieve this because there will be less time to be bored with nothing better to do than eat.

In reflection last year was the most challenging, wonderful, amazing, transformative year of my life. It was all about growth, healing, and change. This year I am going to continue the growth, healing and changes by achieving the following goals.

• I’m going to be the most, loving, supportive partner that I can be for my wonderful husband and best friend Bruce.

• I’m going to surround myself with positive people. Toxic people have no place in my life and I will not let them in.

• I'm going to do what makes me happy, not what others believe I should do.

• I’m going to start buying healthier food.

• I’m going to continue my new exercise regimen of walking 1 mile at least 5 times a week.

• I’m going to get as close to my goal weight as possible in a safe and healthy way.

• I'm going to conquer my soda addiction for good and start drinking at least 100 ounces of water a day.

• I’m going to check into a medical assistance class.   I do not know if I will have the time or the money to pursue it at this time but you never know until you investigate the options.

• I’m going to attempt to save $25.00 a paycheck.  

So moving forward I have a plan, now let see if I have the willpower!!  I am off to clean the kitchen, watch the bachelor and attempt to get my ass in bed at a decent hour since I have to be up and running at 6am tomorrow!  Back to reality, we go!!

BREAKFAST

SNACK

LUNCH

Salad

One tablespoon of dressing

Banana 

SNACK

DINNER

Bowl of Chili

A glass of 2% milk

WATER

100-120 ounces

EXERCISE

Completed a 1.14-mile walking activity. (Day 8) 

Happy New Year!! Welcome 2012

Happy New Year Everyone! I hope you had a great holiday season and you are ready to embrace a new year. 2012 presents a fresh new year with three hundred and sixty-five days of possibilities. 

Last year I started a journey of health and well-being.  I am starting the year 28.6 pounds lighter.  It is not a hugely impressive number, but that is 28.6 pounds I will never see again.  This year I am going to continue the journey of health, healing, and change.  I'm feeling hopeful that my life is headed in the right direction.

Completed a 1.19-mile walking activity. (Day 7)