Monday, August 31, 2009

We interrupt this blog...

I am sick. I have a upper respiratory infection, a bacterial infection in my left ear and in both eyes. I am miserable and highly contagious. Needless to say my journey has been put on a temporary hold.

Hope you are all having a better start to your week than I am.

Friday, August 28, 2009

The Smell of McDonalds

Today was weigh in day at work. Out of the eight of us that are "dieting", 5 of us gained weight since last week. I am happy to say I was NOT one of them! :) The morning was moving along smoothly, I was cleaning out desk drawers, doing some paperwork, and answering the phone here and there. I got up and went to my bosses desk and we were discussing next weeks schedule.

Then out the window I see one of my co workers walking up with a MCDONALDS bag!! OMG anything but MCDONALDS!!! She walked in and you could immediately smell french fries! I am drooling typing this! How can something that smells so good be so bad for you? Me and my boss just looked at her and told her to get away from us! LOL!! We are going to put a NO MCDONALDS sign on the front door!!

I am off to bed! I have to get up early in the morning so I can go to the gym before I start work at noon! I hope everyone has a great night and a wonderful weekend!

Today's Challenge and Motivation

Make two columns. Label on Column "Narrow Road" for my diet plan. Label the other "Wider Road" for my maintenance or alternative eating plan.

Narrow Road

Water, Water, Water!!
Exercise at least 3 times a week.
Post in my Food Journal (Blog) Daily.
Eat Healthy.
Eat Slowly.
Stay Focus.
No Fried Food, Fast Food or Second Helpings.
Learn to eat when I am hungry and not out of boredom, stress, etc.

Wider Road

Concentrate on what I am eating and why I am eating it.
Concentrate on making healthier choices.
Focus on how good getting and being healthy feels.

Thursday, August 27, 2009

So how was your day

To bed late, and up early. Just couldn't sleep. The lack of sleep made me feel like I was hungover. Some shopping, the gym (I really need to try some new machines), then got called into work on my day off ( I needed the hours). Now I have a upset stomach. So how was your day?

Todays Challenge and Motivation

In your diet or exercise plan, identify a task you don’t feel like doing, and then do it anyway! Record it here.

I really do not feel like going to the gym today. I was up way to late, my shoulder hurts, and I just want to sleep!

Notice how it feels to accomplish a goal by taking a “no matter what” approach to it. Describe your reaction.

I went to the gym with my husband and I had a very good workout. Once I got there it was very enjoyable and I felt a sense of accomplishment. My shoulder did not hender me at all.

Make a list of several actions you plan to stick with today, regardless of how you feel at the moment.

I will get up early enough to eat a healthy breakfast before work.
I will go get at least one hour of exercise regardless of how I feel.
I will look in the mirror and tell myself I am worth it.
I will always remember that to love others I must love myself first.

Wednesday, August 26, 2009

Interested or committed?

Today was a very quiet day for me. It was my first day off on my new work schedule. My work schedule has changed and I will now be working weekends from 12pm-8pm and off on Wednesday and Thursday. The good thing is I can get my Thursday workout in earlier in the day. The bad thing is I am not sure what I am going to do for dinner those 2 nights since I am not suppose to eat past 8pm (Oh look another challenge! I love a challenge).

My husband Bruce went and played golf today and got a nasty sunburn while I stayed home with our psychotic dog. I tried to sleep but between Kody wanting to run in and out and the pain in my shoulder that was in full force today that was a losing battle. So I laid around in bed and watched tv and surfed the internet.

This evening we went out to dinner (not a buffet), gambled a little and walked around the casino for about an hour. Came home watched America's Got Talent and Ghosthunters. Now I am off to bed! I hope everyone had a great day and stayed on track!

Today's Challenge and Motivation

Decide that you will always be committed to your weight-loss plan, not just interested. Write a declaration about your new level of commitment.

I will eat 3 healthy meals a day and two or three healthy snacks. I will eat to fuel my body and I will learn to recognize when my body is full. I will not eat past 8pm nightly and will drink no less that 64 ounces of water a day. I will do some form of exercise for at least an hour daily. I will love myself and my body.

Now describe how you will stick with your program, no matter what.

I will wake up every day with the motivation and knowledge that I am WORTH it. I will eat healthy meals and I will exercise daily, if it is nothing more than walking the dog. I will keep a daily journal of what I am putting into my body and the exercise I am doing to make my body stronger. I will weigh myself weekly and make adjustments as needed.

Do at least one thing today that demonstrates you are truly committed. For example, take a walk or eat your vegetables—no matter what. Then write down your action so you can celebrate it.

I walked the dog 3 times today and I walked about an hour around a casino this evening with my husband. I also ate a healthy dinner and drank lots of water.

Tuesday, August 25, 2009

I am worth it

Got off work today and hit the gym and worked out for an hour. I thought the last 10 minutes were going to kill me but guess what I made it. If you had told me a month ago I would be a member of a gym and actually going and enjoying it I would have told you that you were crazy! The last time I joined a gym I went about twice and then got frustrated and lost all interest. I believe the difference this time is that I have support from my husband Bruce and we go to the gym and encourage and support each other.

I received one of my book yesterday “100 Days of Weight Loss”. It is a book with 100 days of weight loss challenges and motivation. I will be posting the challenges here on a daily basis to help me stay on track and be accountable for my thoughts and actions.

Todays Challenge and Motivation

Make a list of any fears or negative behaviors that have hurt your weight loss success in the past.

1. Lack of Motivation.
2. Lack of Exercise.
3. Bad Food Choices.
4. Not Drinking Water.
5. No Support Network.
6. I will fail again so why try.
7. I can not live without my Pepsi.
8. Only skinny healthy people go to gyms.
9. I am afraid of the attention I will receive after losing weight.
10. It will be hard why bother?
11. As soon as I quit dieting I will gain it all back and some extra.

Then write new ending for them by completing this sentence: I used to _____________ (fill in old behavior), but now I ___________ (write new behavior).

1. I used to have no motivation or interest in doing the things needed to get healthy, but now I am learning that I can eat healthy, exercise, and make my life better.

2. I used to be to lazy to exercise but now I have discovered I love exercising and I have the motivation and dedication to do it.

3. I used to make very poor food choices because it was fast and easy, but now I have learned that eating healthy makes me feel better, is actually cheaper and is very

4. I used to never drink water I didnt like the taste, but now I love water and actually prefer drinking it over soda.

5. I used to have no support network, but now I have a wonderful, loving husband and very supportive friends who encourage and help me stay on my path to health.

6. I used to be afraid to try because I was positive I would fail, but now I am positive that I will not fail.

7. I used to drink a 12 pack of pepsi a day, but now I have discovered that my body needs water and I actually enjoy it more than soda.

8. I used to believe that if I went to the gym people would stare, point, and laugh at me, but now I love going to the gym and have discovered that most people are there for the same reason to get or to stay healthy.

9. I used to be afraid of the attention I would receive after weight loss because I use my weight as a shield, but now I have the courage to move forward and the support of a wonderful partner.

10. I used to believe getting healthy would be the hardest thing I would ever do, but now I know it is the hardest thing I have ever done. I also know that it is also the most important thing I will ever do for myself.

11. I used to believe that as soon as I stopped watching my diet I would gain all the weight back I had lost and then some, but now I know I will have the knowledge and the support to maintain a normal and healthy lifestyle. I am worth it!!!!

Monday, August 24, 2009

Tales of the Scales

Starting Weight: 268.1
Todays Weight : 266.3
Weight Loss : ↓ 1.8

Sunday, August 23, 2009

Quiet Sunday

Stay Tuned for Mondays Weigh In!
 I am very nervous I know I didn't do well this week!

Saturday, August 22, 2009

Back on Track

I'm feeling much better today and I am back on track. My husband and I got up bright and early this morning and went to the gym. I did an hour water aerobics class while my husband Bruce worked out on the machines. About halfway through the class I came to the conclusion that I really do not like water aerobics. This was my second class and I wanted to go again to give it another chance but my feelings did not change. So from now on I will be focusing my gym time on the treadmill, stationary bike, and trying out some new machines as I feel comfortable.

After our workout hubby and decided to go get some breakfast/lunch. I do not know if I have mentioned before but I live in Las Vegas, Nevada the BUFFET capital of the world (lol). We did end up at a buffet and guess what I didn't go crazy and eat a bunch of crap! I managed to eat and stay within the boundaries I have set for myself (but let me tell you the dessert bar looked awesome!!).

Friday, August 21, 2009

Keep Moving Forward

As I sit here I really do not know what to write tonight. It was a bad week, but I am feeling better today. Thank you to everyone who left messages of encouragement. I was beating myself up earlier for not exercising more ths week. Then I had this realization that I had to not exercise to take care of myself this week and now that I am doing better I can hit it full force again.

I am struggling on a daily basis. No one said this was going to be easy. The difference this time is that I do not let bad decisions derail me. Bad decisions just make me determined to try that much harder. You have to keep getting up and keep moving forward. There are set backs in all aspects of your life, why should this be any different. If you want something you have to fight for it, that makes it that much more meaningful when you succeed.

Thursday, August 20, 2009

Things will get better

Is it just me, or is this the longest week, EVER? Honestly, it seems like it has taken so long to get to Friday. The past few days I have been ridiculously off track, today was no different. I don't feel my food choice were all the best they could have been, but they also could have been a lot worse. Exercise has been null for two days now. My water intake could be better. Unfortunately all I want to do is stay curled up in a ball in bed. Hopefully tomorrow will be the day that I am back to NORMAL!

Today was the first official weigh in at work. Everyone lost weight and were all very excited that the hard work and dedication is paying off. I had lost weight since I weighed last Thursday at work, but I had gained 2 pounds since my official Monday Morning Weigh In. I was really bummed out but then I remembered that I am bloated and retaining water.

Weight loss journeys are just like our lives. Sometimes there are good times and sometimes there are bad times, but things NEVER stay the same. So when things are bad we just need to hold on, because as long as we keep trying things will get better.

Wednesday, August 19, 2009

I tripped over a rock in the road

I am feeling frustrated and discouraged as I sit and write this entry tonight. Today I decided to take a day off from exercising due to issues I am having with TOM. I woke up with zero energy, a terrible headache and the determination to make this a great day regardless.

That determination got me absoulutely no where today. I did not exercise, I did not consume enough water and to top off this AWESOME (sarcasm) day I ate 10 potato chips tonight. Honestly I did not enjoy them and I have no idea why I ate them to begin with. Self Sabotage? PMS? Stress? Old Habit?? Comfort Eating??

I know there will be days in this journey when I will not make the best choices. Today was one of them.

Tuesday, August 18, 2009

Does this come with a airbag?

Thanks for all the nice comments and concern on my last post. I am not feeling much better today but I got out of bed and carried on with my day. I did some walking at work and I’m totally proud that I got my workout in this afternoon even though I was in a great deal of pain from TOM.

Speaking of the gym, while I was there this afternoon on the treadmill a man a couple of rows back from me FLEW off a treadmill! Now I am not sure if the machine malfunctioned or if he malfunctioned but the weird thing was NO ONE stopped to check on this man. A few people asked him if he was ok but no one stopped working out.

(Note to self: Don't get hurt at the

I hope you all have a great week and that all your treadmills come equipped with airbags. LOL!

Monday, August 17, 2009

A New Week

Starting Weight: 278.1
Todays Weight : 268.1
Weight Loss : ↓ 10

I woke up this morning very anxious because it was weigh in day. I stepped on the scale and I am down 10 pounds! That got me all psyched up for the day! I was feeling good, legs a little sore but I wasn't going to let that stop me from having a great day.

I got showered and dressed for work and stopped on the way and got something for breakfast. I got to work, took my morning walk and when I got back I discovered TOM decided to visit today. So much for my great day. I came home took a shower, took some pain medication and curled up in bed with my live heating pad "Kody" and took a long nap.

I woke up a few hours later still in a bit of pain and hubby went down stairs and got me some water and the SALAD left from last nights dinner. I sit in bed and picked at it and drank my water. Then I did a little internet surfing and laid back down a while. When I woke up we had a wonderful dinner even though I wasn't very hungry.

I am now sitting in here in bed typing this entry in my blog (sucking on a grape jolly rancher) thinking about tomorrow. I hope that TOM isn't going to interfere with gym day. I hope these stomach cramps go away, I hope my legs stop protesting and realize that they can not divorce my body, and most of all I hope that I do not have to eat another SALAD!

Wishing Everyone a awesome week and much luck on their journeys.

Sunday, August 16, 2009

First Weekend on my Journey

Weekend usually are the deal breaker with me when I am attempting to lose weight. You are at home for like 60 hours with access to a kitchen full of "evil food" just calling you to come get it. Yes that evil PIE is still on the counter and NO I still have not gave in to its constant calling.

I slept in late this morning (9:30am) and got up sick at my stomach and barely able to walk. My legs were so sore from yesterday (No Pain No Gain... wait shouldnt that be No Pain No Loss) but as I moved around they got better. I bought three books from Amazon. "Secrets of a Former Fat Girl" , "100 Days of Weight Loss" and "Life is Hard, Food is Easy". I can't wait for them to get here next week. In the meantime, I broke out my Biggest Loser book looking for recipe ideas. There are a few things I am going to attempt to make. While thumbing through the book one particular quote stuck in my head. "You've got to get up every morning with determination if you're going to go to bed with satisfaction".

I am continuing to move forward. I'm just taking it one day at a time and I'm doing the best that I can each day. That is all a person can do. I am really having trouble focusing today. I have started dinner, and I am sitting here with a headache. After dinner I am taking a 30 minute walk with my husband and Kody since I have done absolutely NO exercise today. Well ok I have went up and down the stairs 4 times does that count??

Tune it tomorrow for my first official weigh in!!

Saturday, August 15, 2009

One Step at a Time

I realize that this journey I have started is not about being on a diet, it is about learning to live a healthier lifestyle. Its about me. I did this to myself, I am the only one who can fix it. There is no quick fix, no one else can do it for me. I have to do it for ME! Failure is not an option this time!

Some days are harder than others but we are all human right? Today was HARD I am not going to candy coat it (Oooooo wait bad bad bad) I went to the gym with my husband and I worked out for an HOUR! I did 30 minutes on the stationary bike and 30 minutes on the thread mill. I actually DID it, I sweat, I almost cried, I felt like I was going to puke and pass out BUT I kept going and I made it. I thought the people at the front desk were going to call a ambulance when I flopped in the chair by the front door to wait on my husband to get out of the locker room. Now really am I the only FAT chick who works out here? I am sure you have seen other people crawl to their car.

I made it to the car and then we had to make a stop at the grocery store. Grocery shopping is a nightmare still! They place all this very unhealthy, addictive, cheap, stuff right inside the front door! Great I have to look at potato chips and cookies just what I want to see. One cookie my whole last hour is thrown out the window! I make it past the "on sale evil goodies" and this employee greets us with raffle tickets. Its customer appreciation day and if we call your number you win a prize. Ok whatever I want to get my ground turkey and squash and get the heck home and in the shower.

I got my squash, some zuchini, some fresh corn on the cob and my ground turkey. All the sudden over the loud speaker they call out some numbers. Woooo Hoooo my husband won something! He goes to the front, spins a wheel and is presented a coupon for.....YOU WILL NEVER GUESS!!!

A FREE PIE! Dayum!! Come on!!! Really??? A PIE?? (shaking head)...

We came home, we got showers and my wonderful husband cleaned the kitchen. After I recovered from my excursion to the gym we started dinner. He grilled chicken and I cooked the squash and corn on the cob. Dinner was wonderful and very filling. As I was taking my plate to the kitchen the evil pie was sitting on the counter calling me. I could just go over there and get some pie and say I'll do better tomorrow. But I made the choice not to.

I'm making progress. I'm exercising. I'm making healthy decisions. I'm continuing on my journey to find me. I'm doing it one step at a time.

Friday, August 14, 2009


Well, it is Friday, and I’m definitely ready for the weekend! It has been a very long long week. Sorry I did not actually blog yesterday but by the time I got home I was to tired to lift a finger to type. Why was I so tired you ask? I took 2 10 minute walks during work and then went to my first visit to the gym after work and did an hour of water aerobics. I actually made it through the entire class and felt very good afterwards. There were times I had no clue what I was suppose to be doing so I improvised lol! Believe me I slept very well last night.

Now on to Friday.

Most of the morning crew at work is on a diet and we are trying to support and encourage each other. Some are doing better than others of course. We are having a great time and I think we are actually making some progress as a group. Our first weigh in at work will be next Thursday. I took 2 10 minute walks today. Monday we are going to attempt to walk around the entire block. I think we are ready!

My eating has still been mostly on track. It isn’t perfect, but considering what I COULD be putting into my body I'm not going to complain...MUCH! The idea of salad makes me cringe, I need to find something healthy that is not GREEN to take to work!!

Wednesday, August 12, 2009

Tomorrow is Another Day

Today was not a good food day by any stretch of the imagination. I made some bad choices and ate way to much food today. I still have the munchy so I HAVE to watch the grazing. I know that there will be days I slip up, but I will not let that stop me any more. I also made some great choices.

I walked 10 minutes 3 times today and my husband and I joined the gym. I will be going tomorrow night for my first workout. I am going to start out with stationary bike, treadmill, and water aerobics. Once I am comfortable with that I may try to move up to some weights. I need to be CONSISTENT with my exercise. I must go three times a week. My husband and I even went and bought me some new comfortable sneakers for the occasion!

I am having a hard time staying focused long enough tonight to make a new blog. As I am sitting here typing this a lot of things are running through my mind. "Man I am tired", "What am I going to take to work tomorrow for lunch", "I am sick of salad this week", "Is it Friday yet", and last but not least "I would love a Whopper (lol)".

Well that is about all I got tonight folks. I am tired and off to bed. I hope everyone is reaching their goals and having a good week. As for me.... Tomorrow is another day.

Tuesday, August 11, 2009

Mirror Mirror

It’s the worst feeling to look at yourself in the mirror and wonder how on earth you allowed yourself to get this way. When did I stop caring? Why did I not stop the weight gain in the beginning?

I need to lose a lot of weight but I refuse to look at the whole picture as it can be overwhelming. I must take small steps and set small obtainable goals. First goal will be obtained tomorrow. My husband and I are joining a gym. My second goal will be to actually GO TO THE GYM and make use of said membership. Third goal is to reach 250 pounds.

I am not as hungry today or as moody. I think my body takes about 3 days to adjust to not having all the sugar and caffeine that you get in drinking about 2 big gulps a day. I am still not getting enough water intake. I have had three 16.9 ounce bottle of propel today. Which is about 3 more bottles than I usually have. LOL!

My legs have been really hurting, I have started taking my potassium pills again and trying to eat a banana every morning religiously. I also take a blood pressure pill daily and am still taking my sleeping pills at night to sleep (Thank god for ambien). Hopefully once I start exercising I might begin to sleep better.

Monday, August 10, 2009

Here I go Again

Current Weight: 278.1

Well here we go again. I am going to attempt to get on track, eat better and stop drinking soda. I have done this before and did very well at it but I let all the stress of my life get me off track and I fell hard. I am going to try to be very good and document here everyday what I am thinking, my mood and state of mind.

At the time of this posting I am thinking "Man I picked the wrong day to quit drinking".

Lets start my first post with a little information about myself. I was approved for lap band surgery in February 2009. I went through all the necessary steps, tests, evaluations and paperwork and was attempting to schedule my surgery in March 2009. At this time my insurance company decided that they DID NOT cover this procedure that I was told in February that they did. I appealed and lost. Blue Cross Blue Shield SUCKS! The following is a list of my health in detail as of February.

Height: 66 Inches
Weight: 278.1
BMI: 45.2
Frame Size: Medium
Ideal Body Weight : 137.7
Excess Body Weight: 142.4

Current Medical Issues: GERD, Hypertension, Hypercholesterolemia, Hyperlipidemia, Metabolic Snydrome, and Impaired Glucose Tolerance.

Whew now that we have that out of the way! I will be weighing in every Monday. I believe once a week is a sufficient and I will not become a slave to the scale.