Saturday, January 3, 2015

Happy Birthday My Darling

My Darling Steve,

This morning I whispered Happy Birthday to you my love. I could not send you a card, kiss your lips, touch your hand, or give you a hug. I only hope you are looking down on us and know how very much I love and miss you. I'd give anything for you to be here with me today and forever.

Every morning I wake up and wish that this was all a dream. That I've been stuck in this nightmare that I can’t escape, and I'll wake up and find you next to me. Where you are supposed to be, where you said you would always be.

Everyone says that you will be with me for the rest of my life, in my heart, in my mind, and all around me. While most would take comfort in this thought, it just makes me mad. I miss your voice, the beat of your heart when I would lay my head against your chest. The sweet names that you would call me when you wanted to see me smile. The effortless way you could make me laugh when I was annoyed at the world.

I love you with every part of me. Our time together was not long enough, nowhere near it. I would not be who I am today without everything you did for me in our short time. I will be that woman again, but not any time soon. Right now, I need to concentrate on our love and how I am to go on in this world without you.

You always made me see the silver lining in things, and now the world is just grey.