Thursday, March 27, 2008

Balance

They say that adversity can be a valuable teacher, allowing us to emerge from our pain stonger than before. I am sure that this is the case but right now it just doesn't feel like it. I am tired, really tired. I have been unable to sleep at night due to stress, worry, and of course sinuses from this wonderful pollen shower that we are under right now. I have not seen pollen this bad in a very long time.

There have been major changes at my job, the old manager is gone the new manager has been put into place and she is doing an awesome job. Things are finally moving forward and things are getting done. I got promoted to swing shift supervisor so I had to adjust my body to a new sleep schedule, which has been difficult at best.

My mother is off work again and once again attempting to have back surgery the vertebrea that was pinching the nerve has shifted and she has no other option this time if she wants to be able to feel her legs and feet. She is heavily medicated, non fuctional and thinks ice cream and reeses cups are the only food that exsists. Due to her condition I am again the sole money maker and I have to worry about that on a daily basis.

Bruce is having a pretty bad time right now also, so my trip has been placed on hold until there is a little more certainty in his life. He has some very hard important decision to make, and I will be here to support him every step of the way. I love him with every fiber of my being.

I must find a balance somewhere
or an alternating rhythm
between these two extremes:
A swinging of the pendulum between solitude and communion
Between retreat and return.
In my periods of retreat
Perhaps I can learn something to carry back into my worldly life.